“She doesn’t hate you,” my mom says. “She might be upset and hurt, but these things tend to fade away over time. Give her some space and she’ll come around. I’m sure of it.”
I’m not so optimistic.
After dinner I go straight to my room, where my gaze lands on the shelf full of Kat’s origami creations. My chest tightens and my throat feels thick, and I stride forward to grab the trash can underneath my desk. I hold it up to the edge and swipe my other arm across the shelf, pushing them all into the garbage.
Kat made them for me when she believed I was her best friend who would never betray her, and tears flow down my cheeks as I stare at the empty space.
I don’t deserve them anymore.
30PLAYLIST:if my soul had a soundtrack
“UH-OH. WHAT’S WRONG?”
“Is it that obvious?” I ask, folding my arms across my stomach. I just walked into Pearl’s, and Shelby intercepted me as I exited the back office.
“You look like someone died. Or someone told you the ocean will dry up tomorrow. Or both.”
“The only thing that’s dead is my friendship with Kat. And maybe Gregory, too… I’m not sure yet.”
Her eyes go wide, and she pulls me into a hug. “God. What happened?”
“It’s a long story.”
She pulls back, keeping her hands on my shoulders. “What are you doing after our shift? Want to go get iced coffee and talk about it?”
I just nod. I want to sayYes, pleaseandThank youandI’m glad you’re my friendbut I’m afraid that if I open my mouth, I’ll start sobbing.
Shelby saves me from having to speak and declares, “It’s a date. But first let’s kick this shift’s ass. It’s my last week here, and I want some cash money before I leave.”
“Let’s do it,” I agree, and we fist-bump and head to the kitchen.
Pearl’s is super busy today, full of tourists soaking up their last days at the beach before heading back to their real lives. Labor Day is coming up, and things will become significantly quieter around here. While I meant what I said—I don’t mind tourists—it’s at this point of the summer when I am kind of ready to have my town back. Lucky for me, we have a few generous tables and the tips are off the charts, and I focus on that small win with everything I have.
As promised, Shelby ushers me into her car and we head straight to Latte Love after work. Once we’re settled at a table on the sunny patio with two ultra-sugary iced lattes between us, she looks at me worriedly.
“Tell me everything. Does this have to do with that kid who went to the hospital the other night? By the time I got to the bonfire, everyone was talking about it.”
“No. I mean, that kid, Luke, is Kat’s brother, and Gregory and I took him to the hospital. But that’s not why everyone hates me.”
“I’m sure no one hates you,” she says carefully, but it lacks confidence. “What happened?”
I tell her everything. I start at the beginning—from the shared crush that Kat and I have had on Myles since we were preteens,to the current-day pact, and how my budding relationship with Myles this summer felt like a betrayal to my best friend. I tell her that at first, even before anything actually happened with Myles, I kept things from Kat the few times we spoke. And that I had the perfect opportunity to come clean after I kissed him, but I didn’t. I hold nothing back, and admit to the text message mix-up too, and what Kat said when I admitted what I’d done. I also tell her about Gregory and how badly I think I hurt him when I brushed off his question about Myles and insinuated there was nothing between Gregory and me to even discuss.
By the time I’m finished, Shelby’s eyes are wide and her fingers are at her temples, rubbing tiny circles like she’s trying to process it all. I stir my iced coffee miserably.
“Shit,” she finally says.
“Yeah,” I agree, wishing the little whirlpool of coffee would suck me into the abyss. “I’m a terrible person. In fact, I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave right now. Cancel our friendship for good.”
She snorts. “Nah.”
I glance up at her quickly. “No?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know Kat. I know you. And you’ve been a good fried to me this summer. Therefore, I’m on your side unless a body turns up somewhere. In that case, I’ve never seen you before in my life.”
I laugh a little, and it feels nice. I haven’t smiled for two days. “No bodies, just good old-fashioned backstabbing.” I bend my straw back and forth. “I shouldn’t have done it. Everything withMyles, I mean… and lying to her about it. I know that. I just… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.” It was nice being the person people wanted to talk to, instead of a stop along the way to get to someone else. But that just sounds too pathetic to say out loud.
“You were mad at her and you liked Myles,” Shelby fills in. “I’m not saying it was your best idea, but I can understand it.”
