“Well, Gregory, thank you.”
“I’m glad I could help.”
Mrs. Barlowe turns to me, chin quivering. “And, Amelia…” She steps forward to hug me, and I drop Gregory’s hand to return her embrace. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she says, squeezing me tight before stepping back. “You’re already such a good friend to Kat. The best one she’s ever had, and no matter what happened, I always knew she had you, and I could count on you to be there for her. You’re like a second daughter to me, and now, taking care of Luke tonight? You’re an angel, and I don’t know how I’ll ever thank you for this.”
Her words land like tiny arrows in my back.
Such a good friend to Kat.
Like a second daughter to me.
You’re an angel.
Even if it’s not the most important thing right now, I can’t help but think about what I’ve been doing with Myles and how it’s the complete opposite of what a good friend would do. I’ve lied to Kat for the last several weeks, and broken the only real promise I’veever made to her. What would Kat’s mom think about me if she knew? Would she still say those things?
Of course not, because I’m no hero. I’m a coward.
I might have brought Luke here tonight, but I don’t deserve the rest of Mrs. Barlowe’s praise.
She gives me one final hug, then shifts to pull Gregory in as well. “I need to go back in there, but I wanted to give you an update.” She checks her watch. “You two should probably head home. I’m sure Kat can keep you updated from here.”
Kat’s mom disappears through the door leading to the treatment area, and I stand there staring at the door, my emotions all over the place. Now that I know Luke’s going to be okay, my prior worry dissipates and is quickly replaced by guilt. Enormous, crushing guilt.
Kat’s supposed to be my person, and I’m supposed to be hers. The one who lived up to Mrs. Barlowe’s virtuous opinion of me. That, plus Kat’s recent apology about ignoring me all summer and the knowledge that she’s about to learn that her brother could have died tonight, is almost too much to bear.
I have to tell her the truth, and soon.
“Come on,” Gregory says. “I’ll give you a ride home.”
I walk beside him like a zombie, and once we get to the car, he pauses and turns to me. “Hey. I know that was a lot, but you heard Luke’s mom, right? He’s going to be okay.”
I nod. “Yeah, I heard her.” My voice wobbles.
We get into the car, and he queues up one of my favorite Zach Bryan songs and starts the ignition. We’re quiet the entire drivehome, and when he pulls up to my house and puts the car in park, neither of us moves.
After a long moment Gregory says, “I know this might not be the best time, but I have a question.”
“Okay?”
“Is… is there something going on with you and Myles?”
I swivel my head around to look at him. He looks as weary as I feel. “What?”
“I saw you.” He drops his gaze to his lap, and then seems to force himself to meet my eyes again. “Sitting by the fire. It… it looked like you…” He trails off and sighs. Drags a hand across his mouth. “Like something was happening there. You’ve told me before there’s not, but… has that changed?”
I just look at him. I’m so full of disappointment and anger at myself and am so desperate for somewhere else to place it that I corral it, shape it into something manageable, and hurl it toward this moment—when Gregory chooses to ask me about Myles literally seconds after we almost just watched a kid die.
“Are you serious? Why do you even care about that?”
Gregory blinks. “Why do Icare?”
“Yeah.” I won’t back off now. I can’t. “Why do you care if something is happening with Myles? We’re just friends, you and me.”
My words fall like grenades in the thick silence between us, and it’s like they’ve sucked every molecule of air from the car. I don’t know what I’m doing, or why, but I know I can’t fix anything. I’ve ruined everything with Kat, I’ll probably have to give up Myles to try to salvage my friendship with her, and I’mabout to push Gregory away when I won’t even have him for much longer either.
His stare is so intense, it’s like he’s reaching into my soul. His nostrils flare, and his gaze flicks to my mouth. He leans forward imperceptibly, an unconscious sway into my space.
“Just friends?” he says hoarsely. “Is that really what you think?”
