“Right,” I say, and I wish my voice didn’t sound so breathy. “I remember now.”
“Wanna come sit with me?”
“Sure.”
He puts his hand on my lower back and leads me to the logs surrounding the bonfire. I sit, and he settles in right beside me, his thigh and arm pressed up against mine. The fire is warm and so is his body, but goose bumps flare across where our skin meets. I shiver at the tingling sensation, and Myles looks down at me.
“Are you cold?”
I’m not, but say nothing because he wraps one arm around me. His shoulder is behind mine, his thick forearm slides down my back, and his hand lands on my hip to pull me in even closer. My breath catches and my stomach dips, like I just took a dive on a roller coaster. His nose brushes my hair, and on his sigh I detect a hint of beer. He doesn’t seem drunk, but he definitely had something before he found me. “You smell good,” he murmurs.
“I—I do?” I stammer. Maybe I shouldn’t be sitting here likethis, cuddled up to him in public and where Gregory’s somewhere around, but it feels too good, and my confused heart’s about to explode.
“Yeah. Like vanilla or something. I noticed it that first night I drove you home from work.” His thumb brushes back and forth across my hip, near my belt loop. “Can I tell you something else?”
“Sure.” I’m a terrified kind of excited for what comes next.
“I’m glad you gave me your number instead of Kat’s.”
I stiffen.Kat. Kat. Kat.
I should pull away. Stand up. Tell him what a terrible person I am—that I was never supposed to get this close to him, and that I never told Kat he’d wanted to talk to her in the first place.
Instead I ask, “So you never wished it had been her? That you were talking to?” Because there was a time I wondered that, too.
“No.” He reaches across his body with his other hand to tilt my face so he can look at me. “I don’t know why I asked you for her number. That was… lame. I knew her from all the athletic mixers at school, and she was always so talkative and hard to miss. And you’ve always been so quiet, you know? And it’s not fair to say quiet means you should be overlooked, because now that I know you, I’m not sure how I ever could have overlooked you. Because now I can’t wait until the next time I’ll see you, and I think about you all the time.”
I can’t move, can’t look away from his earnest blue eyes. This is the guy I’ve had a crush on forever. I’ve watched him from afar, I’ve daydreamed about him, I’ve pictured myself as the girl he sits with and kisses against the lockers at school. And now I knowhim for real, and my feelings are real, and he’s even better than I imagined. I never, ever thought he’d feel the same way about me, and even my confusing feelings for Gregory and guilt about the pact don’t overshadow my elation at his declaration. Isn’t this what I always wanted?
At this point we’ve already kissed and agreed to go on a date, so isn’t it too late to go back?
“I think about you a lot too,” I hear myself say. It’s like I’m floating above my body, suspended in this moment that I never in a million years imagined myself in.
His smile widens. He brushes back a stray wisp of my hair, his fingers a soft stroke along my temple. “You’re so sweet and beautiful and funny, and I’m just… I’m really into you, Amelia Madden.”
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod, he’s leaning in and closing his eyes, and his palm is gentle on the back of my head, and I think he’s about to kiss me again, in front of everyone—
“Amelia? Amelia!”
I can’t place the voice, but the person sounds panicked. I twist around, looking for the source, and finally my eyes land on Teddy. He’s a sophomore and always hanging out with Kat’s little brother, Luke. I know next to nothing about him other than that Kat and I did everything we could to avoid them whenever we hung out, except for when her mom asked us to keep an eye on them at the beach or something. It wasn’t anything against Teddy. We avoided her little brother regardless of which friends he was with. Teddy just happened to be the most frequent flier.
“Teddy? I’m over here.” I pull away from Myles and stand, andwhen Teddy finally lays eyes on me, a hint of relief passes over his features. “What’s going on?”
“It’s Luke,” he pants. “I—I don’t know, something’s wrong.” He’s grabbing my arm. “Please, you have to help him.”
Gregory appears and asks, “Who’s Luke?”
Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder where he came from and if he saw Myles and me just now, but the urgency in Teddy’s eyes takes precedence.
“Kat’s brother,” I explain, and ask Teddy, “Where is he?”
“Over there.” He’s already yanking me toward the water.
Gregory and Myles both follow and help us push through the throng of partygoers. I’m flanked by both of them by the time we come upon a small circle of underclassmen.
“Move!” I yell. I gasp when I finally see Luke.
He’s on the ground, legs splayed with one arm across his chest and one above his head. The terrifying thoughtOh my God, is he dead?flashes through my brain before I regain control of myself. I drop to my knees beside him, barely missing a pile of vomit in the sand. Gregory and Myles kneel beside me. Myles presses a couple of fingers to Luke’s throat, which makes Luke move his head a little.
