“Hey, Amelia?” he asks, mouth full of cheese.
“Yeah?”
“Does… does that hat say ‘Bigfoot Is Real’?”
I follow his line of vision to the green-and-white trucker’s hat sitting on my desk.
“Oh. Um… yes. Yes it does.” I don’t elaborate, because I don’t really want to talk about that hat right now.
He pops the final bite into his mouth and chews, his brows dropping into an amused frown. “Why on earth do you have that?”
It’s silly, really, my hesitation to answer such a simple question.But with my newfound realization that there’s something real happening between Gregory and me… it feels strange.
Unfortunately, I don’t have any explanation but the truth. “Myles gave it to me.”
Gregory tilts his head. “Because… he knows you love a good conspiracy theory?”
I laugh a little. I hope he doesn’t notice how uneasy it sounds. “No. I, uh, went out on the boat with him and his family the other day. I forgot to bring a hat, and his dad had, like, ten of those tucked into a bench seat. I guess he got them as some sort of gag gift and instead of just tossing them, figured they’d be good to have as extras on the boat.”
Gregory is quiet for a long moment. “Something good must have happened, then.”
“What?”
“Something good must have happened when you were with him,” he repeats. “That’s when you keep things.” It’s not a question. It’s also not an accusation. He’s almost saying it to himself. Quiet and sort of resigned.
I don’t know what to say.
He gives a slight nod and slides his legs off the side of my bed. “I’d better get going.”
I sit up and open my mouth, ready to say… what? Tell him to wait? Ask him not to go?
Ask him if it bothers him that I hung out with Myles and kept his hat?
But it’s like I’m frozen, unsure what to do. What would Ieven do with the answer to that question? I know no one’s asking me to, but just the thought of having to pick between Myles and Gregory is unthinkable. They’re both important to me in different ways, and I care about each of them. Myles and I have started something that feels good and real, and Gregory’s leaving at the end of the summer.
It seems safest to say nothing at all.
“Thanks for the sandwich.” He has his plate in his hand, and grabs mine from the bed as he comes around. “I’ll put these in the sink on my way out.”
The sting of impending tears builds, and I tell my emotions to ease up. It’s not like we’re a couple breaking up. Hell, we’re not even fighting.
Still, just as he exits my doorway, I call out, “Gregory?”
He turns. “Yeah?”
“I’ll see you later, right?”
He’s looking at me in this steady, tense way, like he wants me to understand something, and my heart stutters as I wait for him to speak.
But then his expression clears, and he offers me a half smile. “Yeah, we’ll talk later,” he says and walks away.
27PLAYLIST:don’t listen if unstable
“NOW,THISIS Aparty.”
Julian hands Ruby a plastic cup of beer he just pumped from the keg and lifts an eyebrow at me.
I shake my head. “I’m good.” I take in my surroundings, agreeing with Ruby’s comment. To be fair, this is the first year I’ve come to these beach parties, so I’m not the best judge of what’s typical, but there definitely seems to be more people here than what I’ve seen earlier this summer. “It does seem a little… rowdy tonight, doesn’t it?”
