She doesn’t say anything else for a long moment, and I just wait. Despite our growing distance over the last few months, I know Kat well enough to know she called for a specific reason.
“I’m sorry,” she blurts.
That, I was not expecting. “Really?”
She grimaces. “Yeah. It might seem like I haven’t noticed, but Idorealize I’ve been kind of an asshole.”
I’m not altogether sure how expansive we’re talking about, here.
“Like, about the sandwich thing?” I ask.
“Well, yeah, that’s part of it. That wasn’t cool of me. I shouldn’t have told them it was my recipe. It’s just… I made it that day you sent it to me, and while I paid for it in the bathroom later, it reminded me how freakinggoodit is. So I made it for some other girls, and they were so impressed… and they don’t know you… so I just let them assume I came up with it. I’m sorry.”
“I mean, itisimpressive,” I say, smiling a little.
She quirks an answering grin, but only for a few seconds. “But I guess I’m also apologizing for being a bad friend this summer.”
“Oh.”
“I know I kind of went MIA. Even though I wanted to go for the tennis part, those first couple of days were harder than I expected. Maybe it was selfish of me, but it was easier to stay busy and lean into making new friends than to miss my best friend and be lonely. I guess I didn’t really think about how that would feel for you.”
“It wasn’t great,” I admit. “It was pretty awful for a while, actually.”
“I’m sorry,” she says again, her voice a little shaky.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I mean, it still sucks that you left, but I want you to do what you need to do for your future. I just don’t want us to lose touch and stop being friends, you know?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t either. We won’t, I promise. I won’t disappear again.”
“Okay. Good.”
“But I’ve gotta say,” she says, lifting a brow, “it sort of seems like you’ve ended up making even more friends with me gone…?”
“Gregory doesn’t count,” I immediately say.
Kat snorts, and the familiarity of it is a balm to my soul. I really have missed her. “Oh, he counts. The hot new kid in town is, like, obsessed with you!”
“If by that you mean ‘obsessed with pissing me off,’ yes. You’re right.”
“He’s a teenage guy. Isn’t that standard-issue crush behavior?”
I shrug. “Flirty is just his default setting. I don’t think he means anything real by it.”
She looks at me like,Come on. “He means something by it. I think he means a lot of things by it. And I also don’t think you mind one bit.”
“What?” I sputter. “I’m not into Gregory like that.”
“Amelia. Two months away doesn’t mean I don’t know you better than anyone else, and you’re completely different with him than any other guy I’ve seen you around.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I don’t know… It’s like something came alive in you the second he showed up. Whenever we used to go out with other people, you withdrew a little bit, you know? But with him you were comfortable in a way I’ve only ever seen you with, well… me, I guess.”
“Maybe that’s because he’s become such a good friend?” I’m not sure why it comes out like a question.
“Maybe,” she says, but I can tell she doesn’t believe it. “You two are also very… physical. You’re always touching.”
I consider that for a second, and realize she’s right. “It’s just easy with him.”
