I snort.
He slows, and I look over at him. This time his brown eyes areon my face. “You really don’t see yourself the way other people do, do you?” He says it gently, his voice thicker than usual.
I shrug away the shiver that runs through me, as if I’ve never really thought about it. But in truth I think for a long time I didn’t want other people to see me at all. I was fine blending in and observing from the sidelines. But this summer it’s been kind of nice to be noticed. To be seen for the person I am and not for who I’m friends with.
“Does anyone really know how other people see them?”
We resume a normal pace, still arm in arm. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I guess the only way to know for sure is to say it out loud.”
“So say it. How do you see me, Gregory McLoughlin?” I’m not sure there’s anyone else I’d feel comfortable asking that question.
It’s silent for so long, I ask, “Well?”
“I’m thinking, woman. Give me a minute.”
“Sorry,” I say. Then, “Wait—you’re not thinking about my boobs, are you?”
“No!” A pause. “I wasn’t, anyway.”
“Sorry. Carry on.”
We pass three houses before he finally answers.
“You’re someone who cares and likes hearing people’s stories.” He says each word slowly, carefully, as if he’s considering each one. “Your hair is brown but red, like the earth caught fire. The right song at the right time can completely change your outlook on life. You’d spend all day by the water if you could, and your freckles give away the days when you do. You want to leave the earth better than you found it, and your fascination with sharks says that youbelieve that just because something is scary doesn’t mean it’s bad. You love making people smile, and you make the best grilled cheese in the universe. You don’t show your true self very often, but when you do, it’s like seeing a rainbow. I think you’d take in every stray animal you came across if you could. Stray people, too, which really worked out for me. You’re fun to be around when I’m happy, but safe to be around when I’m sad. And at the end of the day, you’re the kind of person I want on my side.”
I barely register a couple ahead of us on the sand, and it’s not until Gregory tugs me into his side that I realize I was about to walk directly into them.
I’m so stunned, it’s like my muscles have turned into Silly Putty. I can’t take in a full breath, like my heart has expanded into all corners of my chest. I’m not entirely sure how I’m walking in a straight line.
“Too much?” Gregory asks, and I can’t tell if he’s honestly asking or trying to crack a joke to lighten the weight of everything he just said.
Because that’s exactly what he said. Everything.
I shake my head, because it wasn’t. I’m just… I’m awestruck. The person he described sounds pretty amazing, and how is it possible someone can see me like that when I’ve never even seen it myself? “That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”
“Well,” Gregory starts, all matter-of-fact, “everyone deserves someone who appreciates them for who they are.” He pauses, and I glance up at him. He keeps his eyes forward, and he says the next words into the wind. “I hope you never forget that.”
23PLAYLIST:wet hair and tan lines
SUMMERFEST.
My favorite day of the summer. Well, second-favorite. Fireworks on the Fourth of July might be my favorite. Okay, third. My favorite could actually be the first day of summer because there’s something about being on the cusp of a whole three months of possibility that I look forward to every year. Whatever. Summerfest is here and I love it, okay?
It’s a little over three weeks until Labor Day, which means summer’s edging toward its grand finale, but we’re not there quite yet. I’m not a huge shopper, but every year Kat and I used to go shopping together for summer dresses to wear to the festival. Obviously that wasn’t going to happen, so one day after we worked a lunch shift together, I invited Shelby to go with me instead. We spent several hours perusing the shops downtown, and both endedup with something perfect to wear, mine being on sale so I’m still on track to buy the record player by the time school starts. Ruby’s boyfriend was grounded, so she met up with us after dinner, and the three of us hung out with a few people on the pier. It may have taken me most of the summer to do it, but I think I’ve finally gotten a handle on maneuvering a social life without Kat Barlowe.
I have mixed feelings about Kat showing up tomorrow, something I’d never have thought would happen. I want to see her, but I’ve also sort of started to like the person I became after she left. Maybe I was that person all along but I just never really let it show because it was easier to stay one step behind Kat most of the time. Either way, this will be the first time we’re together since… well, since everything that’s happened this summer.
Since Myles. Since Gregory. Since Shelby has taken Kat’s place beside me on the sand.
It feels different. Will Iactdifferent?
Will she?
There is one thing I can say: I’m thankful Myles is on the other side of the country.
As if the thought conjured him, my phone lights up with a text.
Myles: miss me yet?
