“I asked why you don’t have anything to say to me.”
“Seeing as you let a whole decade pass without talking to me, I’m not sure what we have to talk about now.”
His playful smirk made me tug my bottom lip between my teeth. As much shit as I was talking, I was also ready to bust it wide open if he even gave me ahintthat he wanted my pussy.
“I did that for you,” he assured me, brushing his thumb against my cheek, making me shudder. “For us.”
“How could you ignoring me be for me?” I asked, shifting my weight to one leg.
“You’ve always been mine, bae. I knew if we talked, we’d get more attached to each other. You deserved better than holding ya man down for a decade. I couldn’t have been the partner you needed behind those bars, though I made sure I worked on myself so I could be him when I got out.” He stepped in front of me, closing the space between us. My eyes fluttered and mouth opened slightly in desire. “But as you can see, I’m here now, and I’m willing to put in the work so we can explore what’s been between us for all this time.”
“You’re very cocky to assume I feel anything for you anymore.”
He gave me that wicked smile. “Tell me your heart and pussy don’t belong to me, and I’ll never bother you again.” My mouth opened and closed, but looking into his eyes, I was hypnotized. When Wicked realized I couldn’t say that truthfully, his head bobbed before he lowered his lips to my ear. “I’ll leave now, but I’m coming back for you, Jelai.”
When he placed a gentle kiss on my neck, I had to bite back a moan and make fists to keep from reaching out to him as he walked away. I stood there for I don’t know how long after he walked away, not moving until he rode by on his motorcycle.
“Shit,” I muttered before running up the stairs.
I finished getting ready as quickly as I could, then quickly yet safely made my way to the restaurant. By the time I madeit, I was forty-five minutes late. I apologized to Boris and Kayla since they had to cover my section before I quickly dropped my personal items in my locker and clocked in. The first hour of my shift went by in a blur. I was present, but I couldn’t believe Wicked was out and that he’d come to me. I was so out of it I didn’t even notice my best friend was in my section until I went to her table.
She picked up on it immediately and said, “About time you noticed me. What’s up with you?”
For a while, I considered what I wanted to tell her. Back in the day, Ashley was all for my shenanigans when it came to boys. The situation with Mario changed both of us. I didn’t know how she’d react to Wicked coming to see me, so I decided to keep that to myself for now.
Plopping down in the booth across from her, I sighed. “It’s Wicked. He’s back.”
It took her a few seconds to process that, but when she did, she gasped and sat up in her seat. “What? Are you serious!”
“Girl, yes. Chris stopped by and gave me a heads up. He told me to stay away from him and all that jazz, but yeah. He’s out.”
“Damn, sis. How do you feel?”
Her question was the opportunity I needed to try and process my feelings, but I was still all over the place.
“Conflicted. Happy and grateful but pissed that he ignored me. At peace that he’s out and unsure if I want him around. I mean, of course I think I want him around, but I don’t know. What if he’s different now? What if it’s nothing like my fantasies? What if he and The Wilted Roses are as dangerous as Chris says and something happens? I’m all over the place.”
“Well, it’s not like you have to see and deal with him or anything. Just process him being out and let that be that.”
All I did was smile.
She had no idea.
That man had already pulled up on me and claimed me, and I had a feeling I’d be seeing Wicked again real soon.
I didn’t know how Jelai would respond to me, but things went better than I thought they would yesterday. Even if she wanted to act like she didn’t want me, her body, her breathing, told me she wanted me just as much as I wanted her. I couldn’t get over how beautiful she was . . . how good she felt in my arms . . . how at peace my heart felt in her presence.
My eyes zeroed in on the bikes Pops had showed me yesterday. He’d worked with a local dealer who had several options for me to choose from. Total, I walked away with four: a Yamaha MT-07, a Kawasaki Z650, a Kawasaki Ninja 400, and a Ducati Panigale V4. I’d ride the Yamaha daily, but I couldn’t wait to put the Ducati on a racetrack. Since I wasn’t sure how Jelai felt about bikes, I was going to get a Charger before our firstdate. I peeped her BMW in the driveway and had already looked into getting a blue BMW R 1250 GS if I could convince her to learn how to ride.
It was crazy how one part of my brain was thinking of ways to plan for our future, and the other was preparing for her to not want anything to do with me. Until she told me straight up that she wanted nothing to do with me, I was going to pursue her. Logically, I knew our past wasn’t deep enough for me to feel the way I felt, but the heart wanted what the heart wanted, and I couldn’t deny my heart had always wanted her. If I got her and things didn’t work out, I’d accept that, but I had to at least try.
Satisfied with my decision to ride the Yamaha, I hopped on and headed to church, which was what we called MC meetings. I wasn’t an official member because when I was old enough to join, I was locked down. I was pretty sure Pops wanted me to attend church tonight to announce that I’d be the newest prospect, and I was cool with that. Even with him being the president, I wasn’t expecting any special treatment. Just as long as nobody got too out of line and disrespected me, I’d do my time and earn my place just like everyone else.
After we left the bike shop last night, we rode out with some of the crew for the first time since my release. It was a bittersweet moment. I was happy to finally be able to experience it after ten years, but temporarily, I thought about all the shit I’d missed while I was gone. A decade was a long time to be away from your people, but thankfully, my people never forgot about me. Even with me being sat down, they kept me updated and included on what was going on. We ended up parking in one of the member’s neighborhoods and having a lil block party, which was to be expected. Very rarely could TWR get together and it not end with us turning up.
I took the scenic route to the clubhouse, enjoying the view of the beach and the city I didn’t appreciate in my youth. My moodalternated between wanting to stay in my room and wanting to be out in the city. I didn’t know how long it would take me to adjust and feel normal, but I was just grateful I was free to have that kind of problem. It felt like second nature to continue to live the way I was used to living behind those bars—early wake up, deep cleaning, quick calls and even quicker meals, isolation, working out all fucking night—but I had to keep reminding myself that wasn’t my life anymore.
By the time I pulled up, the clubhouse parking lot was packed. All eyes were on me as I took my helmet off, which was no surprise. To them, a stranger was pulling up. When a few of the OGs noticed it was me, they immediately went up in excitement and showed me love. I shook a few hands, gave a few hugs, made some small talk, then made my way inside the clubhouse.
