As much as I wanted to belong among them, I didn’t. And as soon as this bargain was through, no matter what Marlow said, I wouldn’t truly have a place here. So I squeezed Lord Reynolds’s arm and playfully said, “So soon? You cannot bear to part?”
He chuckled. “Am I playing my cards too openly? Do you need more suspense?”
He had humor; I’d give him that. And he was genuine, it seemed. I felt entirely the fraud. “Should we walk Hyde Park?”
“I thought Kensington Gardens?”
I nodded my approval. “I am a guest at Ashburn Abbey. So perhaps you should ask my hosts, first?”
“Of course. I will arrange the whole thing.”
Marlow would join us. Perhaps he’d bring Lady Diana. And Maggie and Gabriel, perhaps even Thomas, too. Kensington Gardens would be the last and final contracted outing.
Time had flown by.
I wished I could do it all over again and pay better attention. I wanted to commit every moment to memory. The glint in Marlow’s eye when he opened the trapdoor in the floor to the hidden staircase. The way his voice sounded so close to my ear. How he had taken my hand and it hadn’t felt strange but rather warm and strong and comfortable. I missed him already, and he was only a few paces ahead.
Lord Reynolds and I parted at Ashburn Abbey. Maggie drew me away while he spoke with Her Grace. The drive had been otherwise empty. Marlow had escorted Lady Diana and her mother back home.
After undressing, then tugging on my favorite wool socks, I was still wide awake. I’d left my book in the library. So I crept with candlelight down the hall, toward the flickering glow of the hearth. The library door had been left open, as usual.
There was no tea. No tray. No food. Each chair and table had been returned to its spot. A warm fire beckoned, and Cleo slept on the chair.
I felt a twinge of disappointment to not find Marlow.Perhaps he hadn’t yet returned, or had already fallen fast asleep, tucked away in his bed. He’d been out of sorts tonight. I shouldn’t have teased him. Regardless of how I felt about his choice, Lady Diana fit on his arm, in his dukedom, perfectly.
No matter how painfully my heart protested. Nor how I wished I could claw her. Wine her dress. Smudge her perfect rouge. I huffed and smirked, allowing myself to imagine her flawless face in shock for a brief moment.
But if Marlow was happy, I could bear it.
I could try.
My book waited on the table where I’d left it only last evening, but first I went to Cleo. I knelt by the chair and stroked her long, soft fur. She purred in her sleep. For the first time all night, I felt as though I could breathe. I let my worries drift away with the smoke from the hearth.
“I missed you tonight,” I whispered. Tonight had felt all wrong. Despite perfect seats, company I had more than enough reason to enjoy, and the envious eyes of Society washing over us, it had feltlonely. “I would have much preferred staying in, sitting exactly where you are.”
Cleo’s eyes barely peeked open. Her little fanged teeth poked out as she closed her eyes and purred under my hand.
I smiled. “Make room for me then. My body aches, but my mind is wide awake.”
“You should be sleeping,” his gruff voice came from the doorway. Marlow leaned against it, arms crossed. But he didn’t look likeMarlowanymore. He looked likeLucas.
Just a man. Just Lucas.
Cleo jolted awake, then hopped down and sauntered to him. She rubbed against his legs. His stockinged feet.
My heart jolted awake too. He’d kept on his waistcoat,half unbuttoned and without a jacket from earlier, and loosened his cravat. His golden locks had been mussed from their perfect formations. Just how I liked them. I let myself stare a moment too long.
“So should you.”
He bent down and stroked Cleo’s head. “My mind is awake too.”
So he’d heard me. How long, exactly, had he been standing there?
Cleo made a few turns around his legs, then returned to me. She jumped back upon the chair and swished her head under my hand.
He—Lucas—uncrossed his arms, softening. “She likes you.”
I grinned down at Cleo, her body half on my hand and half on the chair as I scratched between her ears. “I’m quite fond of her too.”
