I had expected Miss Wood to seem entitled, as though she deserved her place here even without my name attached. An annoyance. A light hand on my arm, a lilting laugh, and fluttering of her lashes. Someone I would throw out of the carriage by the end of the night.
She was none of those things.
She was gentle and generous in her interactions with our hosts, thanking them for receiving her on such short notice,and complimenting their décor with polite thoughtfulness. Confident, yes. Graceful too. More transparent and easier to understand than I’d expected. Annoying ... ? She’d struck an annoyingdeal, but so far she had asked for nothing more from me.
She stood in front of me and crossed her arms with a furrowed brow that made me want to stop fretting and study her. “I can help you.”
My lips twitched. “You? Helpme? I do not think so.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You’d rather run away instead? Defeated? Because that is exactly what they’ll think.” She pointed toward the ballroom. “The Duke of Marlow feeling sorry for himself.”
The embers of my temper flared. “You have no idea of what you speak. You do not know me at all.”
“You do not know me either.” She threw up her hands, seemingly as put out with me as I was her. “How do you wish to feel? Strong? Then I shall faint, and you can lift me to safety and all the women will swoon.”
I scoffed. I did not need help encouraging the women of theton, though I had no doubt she’d follow through. The more she spoke, the more she revealed how intelligent and clever she truly was. How well she understood Society.
“Or perhaps you want to feel dangerous? I can stage a brawl, and you can save the day. All the women will still swoon.”
I had half a mind to start a brawl myself with one particular gentleman—if he qualified for the word—already in the ballroom. Thoughthatman was a proper pugilist.
Tempting, to land him a facer. I had wanted to for months now.
Doing so would embarrass my mother and taint the family name, so I oughtn’t.
Then again ...
“No.”
She waited for a single moment, before launching into her next grand idea. “Smart? I am more than happy to—”
“Enough,” I stopped her, frustrated. Would she never relent? I could simply walk away and abandon her here. I ought to call the carriage in earnest and leave this place before anyone else saw me upended like this. I dug a hand threw my manicured hair.
Her stare burned into my profile. “Whatever you’re feeling, it is uncomfortable,” she started, slow. “And no, we are not well-enough acquainted to be in each other’s confidences. But I am well-acquainted with embarrassment, humiliation, anger, betrayal ... I could help you get through the evening. As a friend. A conspirator, perhaps? If you’ll trust me.”
“How in the devil could I trust you?” The words slipped out before I’d softened them.
She didn’t seem offended. “A fair question. The most obvious answer is the reason I am here. At this present moment in time, no one trusts me. My word is as valuable as a paste diamond. You truly have nothing to lose confiding in me.” She shrugged. “My aim is not to dig into your deepest secrets, Your Grace. I have no doubt that in a fortnight or so we will part ways and never think of one another again. Tonight, my help would only be a means to an end. Your good mood ensures I have a proper evening, as planned, in a home I would not have been invited into otherwise.”
She would be a ringer in Parliament. Persuasive, and witha bridled conviction I envied. I almost felt complimented, though I couldn’t pin why or when she’d done it.
“Just for tonight,” I found myself relenting.
She nodded, her eyes gleaming, and tilted her head back. “Tell me, then. How do you want to feel when you walk into that ballroom in a moment?”
How didI want to feel?
Not like this.
To start, I wished I could erase any memory of Miss Newbury and that whole event last summer.
I wanted to go back tobefore. When Father was still alive. When the future had limitless possibilities. I’d made all the right choices because he’d been there behind me, ensuring I chose the best path for myself and for the dukedom. I’d never worried things would fall apart because he was there to fix them if they did.
Dash it all, Ididwant to feel strong, as weak as that sounded. And unaffected by anyone and anything. My father walked every path like he held the world in his hands. Everyone had loved him. Respected him. I wantedthat.
“Admired.” I released the word, and the grief that followed it. “I want to feel admired.”
Miss Wood’s brows lifted. “Admired.”
