She drew back at my tone, eyes downcast, cheeks reddening. Gabriel froze in his seat.
I hated it. Hated how I sounded. Hated how they reacted as though I might actually throw them out on their backs. My father had never once raised his voice at me. Would that I could be so patient and steady. That I could instill so much confidence that no one questioned me at all.
Maggie did not understand. And, frankly, I did all this so none of them would have to. I softened my voice. “My judgment stands. If you are in disagreement, you are welcome to leave.”
I ought to say I did not want them to leave. That I’d like for them to understand how difficult these things were to manage, and that for once, I wanted something for myself—Grandmother’s ring. The one she’d worn every day for as long as I could remember. Whenever I was sad, she’d take me in her lap and let me trace the gems with my finger. I missed it. I missedher. That ring personified comfort from disappointment, safety in the middle of a storm, and deep breaths whenresponsibility had come too soon. Perhaps one day its wearer would feel what I felt when I’d looked at it.
Gabriel, at my request, had moved it from one of our country estates to London, then he’d gambled it away. Could I not reacquire it without having to explain myself to the few people I should be able to count on no matter what?
Maggie swallowed hard and straightened her back. Slowly, she stood with all the elegance of a queen and curtseyed. “As you wish, Your Grace.” The look she gave was nothing short of mocking. Then she turned on a heel and left the room in a sweep of skirts.
I waited a few beats to let the drumming in my chest settle. Following her would only upset her more. Gabriel settled back in his chair with his paper.
That had not gone well at all.
I folded Mr. Wood’s note and made my own departure.
In the foyer, voices sounded nearby. Maggie, I imagined, taking out her frustrations on some poor soul.
I took the stairs to the upper floor, past the library to my private chamber until every sound and every moving thing went still.
Sometimes I wished I’d had a real sibling. Gabriel and Maggie were as good as, having been forced into my company nearly every day of my childhood and then tutored and polished alongside me into adulthood. Little good it did us, for even as adults, we still fought like children.
At times like this, I found myself wondering what true companionship felt like. What would it feel like to have someone in those quiet hours at home? Someone to help share the weight I carried. The burden of the dukedom. The loss of oneperfect duke and father, the large missing piece at the center of it all.
I closed my bedroom door behind me and leaned back. No time for sentimental thoughts. I had a duty, and a plan, and one particularly irksome problem.
Miss Wood. And the Waymonts’ party.
Ihatedthe theatrics of it all. The entire play that was the London Season, and most of all, the cast of actors known as theton.
The fact that Miss Wood soughttheirapproval, that she wantedtheirattention was enough to prove that I was lying about any supposed friendship. She was exactly the type of woman I had no interest in spending time with. Maggie and Gabriel would see that soon enough without my having to explain myself. They might wonder why I kept her around, but they wouldn’t worry over it when she left.
I tossed Mr. Wood’s letter on my round table in the corner and found a note waiting.
In Mother’s elegant hand.
I read the title with a quick glance: Eligible Ladies of Note.
I spat out a curse as I fell into my leather chair and idly picked up the page. She meant well. She wanted to help. And of late, at this time of year, we both needed to be kept busy.
Most of her names I recognized. A few piqued my interest, namely one who Mother had highlighted as being mature and independent, both excellent qualities for a duchess—Lady Diana Thompson. She’d made her debut last Season, when I was decidedly absent chasing down the last of our family’s lostholdings and engaged to Miss Newbury. I knew Lady Diana, but not well.
Lady Diana’s name had also appeared on the list I’d asked my steward to make of eligible women from financially stable families in theton. I wanted to align myself with a woman from a family with good sense, should, heaven forbid, she have to lead the future duke in my stead until my heir came of age.
Always look ahead, my father had so often said. For it was my uncle who hadn’t, who’d cared only for the present, and who’d ultimately ruined us. I would not be so daft, seeking pleasure in the moment without thought to the consequences. Someone had to be even-keeled. Someone had to bear the weight of the whole. My father had been that man for so long, but now it was my burden to bear.
I set Mother’s note aside and pulled out a sheet of paper, ink jar, and pen. The polite thing to do would be to return Mr. Wood’s letter. To call upon them and welcome them to London.
I was not feeling very polite.
ChapterSix
Georgiana
Two days after my arrival in London, the duke finally deigned to respond. Of all my reasons to hate him, his neglect of my brother was at the top of the list.
We were in the sitting room when Peter got the letter. He’d had two late nights out, and I could tell he was already spent and homesick, as evidenced by the novel he’d written to Amelia with lettering so small I could not read it from a glance. He’d spent his afternoon filling the entire page, wasting not a speck of space. He set it aside and unfolded the duke’s letter. I abandoned the pianoforte and sat on the arm of his cushioned chair to read over his shoulder.
