Papa squinted in thought. “He wouldn’t touch it, especially after everything I offered him.”
“I have fifteen thousand pounds, do I not?” I winced at the forwardness. If I didn’tneedto know, I wouldn’t ask.
“Yes,” Papa answered.
“And Mama left me something. I understand the sum is ... large. But how much, exactly?”
“It is a substantial sum,” Papa muttered.
“Enough, say, to buy a parcel of land?”
ChapterThirty-Five
Graham
I had a plan. It would take at least a year, likely two, of investing in the funds, the four percents, while cutting back unnecessary expenses. I had a budget, and any excess we managed to save would go toward whatever new speculation seemed profitable. It meant a long engagement, but also enough monetary stability that an engagement would even be possible.
Still, I hated it.
I could not say for certain that Mr. Lane would be agreeable. He might make me wait to offer my suit until things were more secure.
Regardless, it would mean asking my family to sacrifice for me when they’d already suffered so much at the hand of my father.
But most of all I hated the nagging feeling in the back of my mind that grew ever more present, a voice telling me that I would never measure up, listing dozens of men who would be better suited, who could give Anna an easier, more comfortable life than I could. Who was I, if I could not care for her as they could?
By the next morning, as I ushered the cow back insideafter mucking out her stall, I’d half convinced myself of that truth. In my head, I started listing the reasons why Anna should move on, the foremost being the wretched smell of my current state, and the most compelling being the longevity of my current, and only, plan for a future.
How could I expect such a woman to wait potentially two years or more for me to fix my financial difficulties? How could I ask her tostaywhen staying meant settling for far less than what she was accustomed to?
I swiped the sweat from my brow, then the dirt and filth from my hands. Back in my room, I sank into a bath, though my family still slumbered. I tried to turn off my thoughts, but they pressed their way into every corner as I cleaned, shaved, dressed. I thought I heard the canter of horses down the drive as I tied my cravat, but a quick glance out the window proved the contrary.
Anna’s father had sent back word that she’d recovered from her headache by nightfall. Still, I couldn’t shirk the feeling that she needed me, couldn’t unsee the dismal look in her eyes as she’d left yesterday. I meant to visit as soon as was appropriate to see her returned to full health. And to tell her of my plan. I could only hope she’d still want this, wantus, after I laid it all out before her.
Was that the door?
There—a neigh—absolutely the sound of horses trotting away. I tugged on my jacket and fastened the few buttons before venturing down the hall.
“One—uh—one moment, please. If you’ll just come inside.” Roland’s voice echoed up the staircase.
“I’ll wait here.”
Anna?
I bolted down the stairs, stopping only when Roland met me at the bottom.
The man looked panicked, eyes wide, face pale. “Mr. Everett, Miss Lane has come, and she’s ... Well, she’sinsistent, sir, that she see you. There are trunks and trunks, but before I have them moved—”
I patted his arm to reassure him even as I moved around him toward the open door. She stood tall, in a pale-yellow dress, one arm crossed over her middle, holding her other elbow. A coiffure of brown curls peeked out from her hat.
“Anna?” I took a step nearer, and my eyes found the trunks deposited behind her. Her many, many trunks. And her maid, Mariah, being ushered around to the side door.
“Forgive me, Graham, for coming unannounced.” Anna unpinned her hat and tossed it on a trunk. “I fear I am in a bit of a tight spot. And I am hopeful for a moment of your time.”
I took her hand in mine and drew her close, relaxing when she let me wrap my arms around her waist. “What has happened? Where is your father?”
She leaned back in my hold and winced. “I’m afraid I am rather homeless at the moment.”
I refocused on the trunks surrounding us, then Anna’s pinched look, her half smile.
