He said the words, but his smile did not feel sincere. It worried me. “I can see something in your head spinning round. What is it?”
His arms fell from around my waist. One hand found mine and squeezed, then he released me and stepped back to sit upon the boulder where I’d found him. He rubbed his face in his hands as though to brace himself.
I watched, anxiety brewing like a storm in my chest, then spoke softly, “Please.” Hesitantly, I took a few steps forward, stopping an arm’s length away from where he sat. He looked so helpless, almost lost, like he was not sure exactly what to do. He reached out and tugged on my skirts, pulling me toward him until our knees brushed. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around my waist again and looked up at me with round, hopeful eyes.
“I do not want you to worry. I have everything in hand. I just need a little more time.”
I took his face in my hands, smoothing out the creases in his brow. He closed his eyes, and I weaved my fingers through his hair. His banker had come this morning. And while I knew a little about money and what it took to run an estate, I imagined it was stressful. This, however, felt different. This was more than stress.
“Tell me. Perhaps I can help.”
His eyes flew open. “No. Please, do not fret over this, Anna. I can manage. I willmanage. It’s actually not so bad, I just—” He laughed, but there was no joy in the sound. “I just need time. Nothingbetween us has changed.”
Butsomethinghad. “Do you love me?” I asked.
“Absolutely,” he said without pause.
“Then please tell me what happened with your banker this morning.”
ChapterThirty-One
Graham
She was adamant.
And was that not why I loved her? Her intelligence, her unfaltering desire to help and support and encourage?
It felt different when aimed toward me. I did not wanthelp. I wanted to stand on my two feet, and I’d been so close. So blasted close to finally being independent. To having Anna and a life of my own where I did not need to rely on anyone for anything ever again.
Fate apparently had other plans.
I glanced up at Anna, who waited patiently for an answer she most definitely deserved. I’d offered her everything last night, and I’d meant it.
“I lost an account,” I said, hating the meager sound in my voice. “But I’ll find another. I always do.”
She only said, “A significant loss.” Simply spoken, without judgment.
“Yes.”
Her brow creased. “My father can help.”
I dropped my hold on her waist. “No, Anna—”
“He’ll be here soon. I’ll wait to confront him, and you can speak with him directly. Ask him for whatever you need.”
I shook my head. “No. He is your father, not mine. You need to speak with him and reconcile. His focus should be you, and only you, from now on. I can manage on my own.”
But she wasn’t listening. Her mind was fitting every piece in its spot. “And, of course, you can have the Brighton investment. I would’ve allowed it anyway had you not asked me to say no.”
If only I could afford it. I stood and paced a few steps around her. I tried again. “I will work everything out. Your father has done so much for me already; I will not ask for his aid when I am capable.”
Anna did not want a life where her father was at the helm. She wanted a husband who lived independently, who did not rely on her father or aim to utilize his wealth. I knew this because she’d said so relentlessly. And after Lennox? I refused to become at all like the man she despised. Not to mention the fact that this very scenario—me, investing with her father—was exactly what she was against in the first place.
“He has already offered it. If this investment will solve your problems, why will you not take it? For us? For our family?”
Our family.Gads, I did not deserve this woman. I felt pain behind my eyes, a welling of emotion pooling behind them, and bit the inside of my cheek hard to keep it from spilling over. She did not understand how much I’d lost. How uncertain our life together would be if I used my savings on this investment partnership now. “I cannot. I am sorry.”
Anna followed me, stopping at my side, and I felt her gaze on my face, perhaps measuring my sincerity, questioning. “It must be very bad, then.”
