He closed his eyes. “I understand that sentiment.”
“Do you?”
The carriage hit a bump in the road, and he grunted, again trying to sit up.
“Charlie, lie still.”
“It hurts,” he whispered, wincing.
“You’re a pugilist. Practically a professional.” I marked the words with all his smugness. “You know pain.”
I let go of his hand and stroked his wavy hair. He closed his eyes. “A strong drink awaits you soon,” I whispered.
“I don’t deserve it,” he said, that solemn look surfacing again. “This is all my fault.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Those men. They were on the earl’s errand.” He lifted a hand, bloodred and wet, and let out a panicked breath. He squeezed his eyes tight like he, too, was fighting back his fear.
“I won’t let you feel guilty for someone else’s mistakes,” I said, enunciating every word. He focused on me, so I grasped his hand and pushed it back down. “No matter what you’ve done, Lord Langdon alone is to blame for what happened today. Do you understand?”
“Ros, you are too ...” he said on a shallow breath.
“Good a friend?” I supplied with a smile that I hoped masked my ever-mounting fear.
“That, yes.” He swallowed hard again. “And smart. And generous. Talented.” He laid his head back. “Absolutely beautiful.”
My heart was in my throat, and tears filled my eyes. I should think of Marlow. He had saved us too. And I had made a promise to him. Indeed, I owed him my life—and Charlie’s and Liza’s. But none of that mattered now. Not with Charlie lying like this and looking at me for the first time with truth on his lips.
I did not want Marlow. I wanted Charlie.
“Well, don’t stop there,” I whispered. My voice was raw and faltering.
He looked up at me, and I blinked back my tears.
“I should have kissed you when I had the chance,” he whispered back.
I touched the corner of his mouth with my thumb. “Then what are you waiting for?”
He watched me for a moment, letting me brush my fingers over his cheeks and forehead and neck. Every scar, every line, every dimple—I adored them all.
He shook his head. “I will disappoint you.”
“I highly doubt that. I have never been kissed, and you are rather appealing, Charlie.”
Half his mouth lifted. “You know what I mean.”
And I did. Kissing Charlie would be both an ending and a beginning. I’d have to jilt the duke and destroy my family, but I could also create a new future. The question was not if I wanted to, but if I was brave enough. Ifhewas brave enough. And I was terrified.
“I make a mess of everything,” he continued. “You deserve better. You deserve someone who has his life together. The duke. A king. You deserve the world, Ros, and I won’t keep you from it.”
Could I say the words? Could I speak the truth?
It would change everything.
But this wasCharlie.
I leaned in closer, applying pressure while also settling close to the man who had captured my entire heart. I had finally found my place. And I knew exactly what I had to do to claim it.
