Blinded by the murky water, I could not tell whether I was moving toward the shallow end or the deep, but I knew I was making little progress. Every exertion made me hungry for a breath. But no matter what I did, no matter how hard my heart pumped and my lungs begged, I was sinking.
Mama’s face flashed in my memory, then a vision of Benjamin laughing as he tugged at my hair, my brothers Jasper and Nicholas, and Father.
Keep moving,they seemed to say.Whatever you do, keep trying.
But I couldn’t. Not without first filling my lungs.
Suddenly my feet hit something—the pond floor?—and I pushed off hard with every ounce of strength I had left.
Moments later, my head broke free of the water, my hair everywhere, and I sucked in a loud, gasping breath, only to fall again into the depths.
No!Emotion welled up my throat and came out in bubbles.Please, no.
I flailed my arms, trying to reach the surface, when out of nowhere a firm hand grabbed my arm. Shocked by the sudden touch, I fell still as I was dragged upward and pulled close. Hope filled me with a last bout of strength, and I clung to the person’s neck like a leech, barely registering a loose cravat and strong shoulders.
Ben?
The man hoisted me higher until my head broke the surface again. My eyes burned, as did my chest, and I sucked in air, coughing and choking and gasping for more. Then he tugged me along with sharp, measured breaths as he swam us both until my feet could touch the earth again.
Still, I hadn’t enough breath to move. My jaw started to shake, then all of me. My mind whirled. I could not focus. I had no idea what to do, but I knew I had to get out of that pond.
Blindly, I started forward, but the hands took hold of me again. We were chest-deep in water, and the man brushed back his wavy brown hair, revealing a face still as bruised and beaten and unshaven as it had been the day before. For a moment, there was only him.
Mr. Winston.
“Are you all right?” he asked through labored breaths.
I blinked, and my eyes focused on his, which were round and worried and reminded me of Liza’s. I stifled a sob. “Y-you saved me.”
“I happened to walk by when I heard a scream.” His hands were shaking too. “How did you get so far out in the pond?”
My mind went blank. My thoughts muddled. “I was ... swimming.”
His eyes searched frantically around the pond. “Are you alone?”
“Yes,” I quickly assured him.
But his eyes grew frustrated instead of relieved. “Swimming alone? Even accomplished swimmers never swim alone. Accidents happen all the time. If I had not walked by ...” His voice rose, and my heart ached with the truth.
I covered my face with my hands, and the impending sob broke free. I deserved his rebuke. Every second of it. I was a fool.
His hand touched my wet back, and I startled. Gently, slowly, he guided me toward the bank.
My dress clung to my skin, but to his credit, Mr. Winston averted his eyes as I stepped onto the bank and took in the scene before me. A man’s dark-green coat lay abandoned in the grass by the rock where I’d left my pelisse, boots, and gloves. But a bit further away was a large, full leather bag and a man’s satchel.
My legs trembled, and my whole body shook in the cool morning air. What had I done? I’d almost died. Had Mr. Winston not come along when he did ...
He walked a few paces ahead, and I examined my rescuer. Drops of water trailed down his face, his neck, his loosened cravat, and sopping clothes clung all about him.
Allabout him. His shoulders were wide and firm, his arms thick and muscular from activities I did not dare consider. Mr. Winston brushed out his hair with a hand, which did his chest and arm and shoulders every alluring favor. My already racing pulse beat loudly in my ears. Never had I stood alone like this with a man.
He reached for my pelisse and walked behind me, then guided my arms into its sleeves.
“Are you hurt?” he asked.
“No,” I said in a weak voice. I pulled my pelisse tight and moved toward the rock where my satchel, gloves, and boots awaited me. I needed to get home.
I felt his gaze on my back for a long moment, then he turned and retrieved his own coat from the grass.
