Emily scoots closer, her body against mine, and all the desperation, all the need squeezes in on me. I put my arms around her waist, crushing her against me, and her mouth crashes into mine.
The heat is instant and it overwhelms me. “I need you,” I say against her mouth, but she already seems to have gotten the message, because she’s kissing me like she’s going to devour me, pressing my body up against the rock.
I want to devour her right back. I let out a groan as she rubs against me and I don’t care that we’re out in the open.There’s nobody here and I need her right now, and it won’t be the first time.
And, thank god, it won’t be the last.
She stands for a moment, and I help her unbutton her jeans, and then wrap the extra blanket around her waist as she shimmies out of them. I don’t think we’re bothering with our shirts this time because we’re both so hungry and desperate, and who has the time to completely undress? I undo my fly and Emily straddles me again, the blanket falling down over our hips, blocking us from view if any rogue cameramen happen to climb up here, though I don’t think they will. Rich got what he wanted this morning, and he can’t air this, anyway.
Emily rubs up against me, already wet, and I groan and arch back, my hips rising to meet her. “I love you,” I gasp, and she whispers it back, and then pulls me up and lowers herself onto me.
We shudder as one, and I bring my lips to Emily’s throat, feeling the vibrations of her moans against my mouth. She’s not gone; she’s not leaving. She’s here with me, so close, and it’s everything, everything. We’re going at it fast and hard and my vision is clouded with stars, and Emily calls out my name.
And then we’re coming together like a goddamn freight train, our bodies moving desperately, our mouths unable to form even the syllables of each other’s names. Emily’s arms clasp around my neck, and I hold her against me as we both quake, our hearts slamming together, even through our clothes.
“Oh my god,” she says, and I echo the sentiment.
I could stand to do that, over and over, for the rest of my life.
We hold each other, both shivering with aftershocks, while oblivious blue jays squawk at each other over our heads.
“So,” she says, still breathless. “I’m not sure if I dare to ask if you have any thoughts about moving in together. It’s okay if they’re scared thoughts.”
I groan, still rubbing against her. “I have all the thoughts.”
She laughs and kisses the sweat off my forehead. “I’d like to hear them, when you’re ready.”
I don’t know if she means when I’ve caught my breath—becausedamn—or when I’m ready to share my feelings, but I’m ready for the second part now. I’m not sure where to start, and I don’t take the time to figure it out, instead tumbling right into the messy middle.
“I want to buy a house,” I say.
Emily pulls back and looks at me, like this is so far from what she expected me to say. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I want to be financially stable, and California real estate isn’t getting any cheaper. I want to buy a house with the money from this show, so I don’t have to pay rent anymore, to start building toward our future.”
“You’ve thought about this,” she says, like she still doesn’t quite get it.
“I have. I didn’t know how to say anything without putting pressure on you, and then we started fighting and I wasn’t sure if we were still going to be together, let alone making such a huge step, when you were just barely ready to move in together—”
“So you want to buy a housetogether.” She’s staring at me with such confusion that for half a second I’m sure that I’ve blown it already.
“I mean, only if you want to—” I start.
Emily lets out a high-pitched squeal and locks her arms and legs around me like a vise. “Really? You really want that?”
“Yeah,” I say, still slightly out of breath and definitely dazed. “Of course I do. But if you had different ideas, if you wanted to stay in your apartment or rent a new one—”
“No. I mean, I wanted to find a new place, but a house is way better than an apartment. Let’s do it.”
I grin at her, and for a moment we’re just staring at each other in wonder, and then we’re kissing again. My fly’s still undone, and Emily’s still not wearing any pants, but neither of us is in a big hurry to rectify this situation. If she keeps holding onto me like that, I don’t think it’s going to be very long before I’m ready for another round.
“You really want this with me,” I say.
“Yes! And you actually sound excited about it.”
I laugh. “I am. I always was, but I was also scared out of my mind.”
She grins. “A house. You and me.That sounds incredible.”
