The voice seems to work on Monroe. “Of course, dear. I can pretend.” She looks over at Kate. “Ihave an imagination.”
“Okay.” Emily scans through the exercise, clearly finding it wanting. “So, what would you say to Jason if you were in the workplace and attracted to him?”
“Nothing,” Monroe says. “A man’s natural desire is for the chase. Women are too forward nowadays, feeling thateverythingneeds to be ‘equal.’” She actually does the air quotes, even though they were quite clear in her tone. “Men don’t like pushy women.”
I think Emily’s eyes are about to bug out of her head, and I’m not sure if it’s at Monroe’s fifties-housewife dating mentality or the fact that these statements were just made by the woman who is giving us couples therapy.
Either way, I take a large step away from Monroe. I may have prevented one cat fight only to start another.
“That’s just plain wrong,” Genesis says firmly, and all heads swivel over to her, where she’s sitting primly on her folding chair. “And terribly anti-feminist.”
It is, but I wouldn’t have expected Genesis to be the voice of reason and equality.
Apparently, I’m not the only one surprised, because she looks between us all, brow furrowed. “What?”
There’s a beat of silence, and Monroe lets out an aggrieved sigh. “If you want me to behave inappropriately, then you’ll have to tell me specifically how, because I don’t know.”
Emily thrusts the manual at her. “Just read what it says here.”
Monroe takes the manual, clears her throat, and speaks in what I think is supposed to be a deep and sexy voice, but kind of sounds like she has a cold. “Hey, baby,” she says.Then she rolls her eyes to the heavens and brandishes the manual at Emily. “I would never say this. It’s so gauche.”
I wonder if Monroe is also concerned about this ending up in a show promo out of context. Which is wise.
Emily takes back the manual and looks to Rich, like,are we done yet?
Rich just shrugs, and I want to punch him.
Destyny raises her hand, stretching as high as she can, like she can’t wait to be called on.
“Yes, Destyny?” Emily says wearily.
“So, whatwouldI say if I were sexually attracted to Jason?” she asks. “I mean,hypothetically.”
“You wouldn’t say anything!” Emily shouts, slamming the manual on the table hard enough that the screen nearly topples over. “Because he has a girlfriend who isstanding right here.”
Kate smirks. “I told you she was jealous.This is why she won’t let me role-play with Jason. It’s attractiveness discrimination.” She looks Emily up and down.
“That is not a thing,” Emily snaps.
“Oh, yes it is,” Kate says. “Am I right, ladies?”
All of the Not-Wives, without exception, nod their heads gravely.
“It’s totally a thing,” Calista says with a sigh. “Uggos don’t understand what we go through.”
Oh my god. “Did you just call my girlfriend anuggo?” I ask.
Emily grabs me by the arm. “Let it go. She’s not worth it. We’re done here.” She glares at Rich, who is smiling like his work here is also done.
Then Emily drags me away from the Not-Wives, the cameras trailing after us, as always.
It’s probably for the best, because if I got in a fight with a Not-Wife on camera, the promos would never be about anything else.
Fifteen
Emily
The next morning, I’m still curled up in our sleeping bag dozing when a loud female voice from outside the tent startles me fully awake.
