“Can anyone tell me what sexual harassment is?” she asks.
“I can!” Destyny says brightly. “It’s when you harass someonesexually.” She pauses, like this explains everything, and then just as Emily is about to reply, she goes on. “There are all kinds of harassment. Physical. Emotional. Aesthetic.” She ticks these off on her manicured fingers.
Emily blinks at her. “Aesthetic harassment?”
“Yes!” Destyny says. “Like, when you cover everything with hideous rhinestone crosses that wound actual artistic sensibilities.”
Genesis twists in her chair to glare at Destyny. “What are you saying about my crosses?” She pulls at one of her sparkly earrings, which are, of course, crosses. “What do you think Jesus would say if He were here?”
Destyny continues to look straight at Emily like Genesis doesn’t exist. “You can also harass someone verbally. By never shutting up about Jesus. Or your discount jewelry.”
“That’s not what verbal—” Emily starts, then shakes her head, clearly deciding not to bother fighting that battle. “We’re here to talk aboutsexualharassment.”
“Easy,” Genesis says, spitting the word through gritted teeth. “That’s when you steal someone else’s husband and have sex with him all over town where everyone can see.”
Now Calista is twisting in her chair. “Did she really have sex with him in front ofeveryone? Did they air it on the show?”
“That would have required quite a lot of blurring out,” Monroe says, pattingTiberius on the head.
Destyny glares at Monroe like she’s not sure whether she was just insulted by her as well as Genesis.
Emily glances over at me, like she hopes I’ll have an idea of how to fix this situation. I doubt she’s ever had a company marketing presentation that went this far off the rails.
“I think you need less Q and A,” I tell her. “Maybe lean into the A.”
“Yes,” Kate says, suddenly more interested in the proceedings. She winks at me. “Let’s definitely have some moreA.”
Oh my god, that woman.
Emily’s face goes pink. “This is what I’m talking about!” she shouts. She takes a breath and speaks more calmly again, if with a definite edge. “Sexual harassment. In the workplace.”
“And at a wellness retreat,” Calista adds.
“You arenotat a wellness retreat,” Emily snaps back. “This is a show that you are being paid to be on.Therefore, we are all co-workers in a workplace.”
The Not-Wives look universally unhappy to be told that they areco-workerswith the rest of us. I think most of them think of us as the waitstaff. I refrain from pointing out that even if we were waitstaff, they aren’t allowed to grab my ass, and Emily launches into her presentation. She whips through slides about hostile work environment and quid pro quo and the various kinds of actions that can be considered sexual harassment, including unwanted physical contact.
Calista appears surprised by a lot of the information, while Monroe manages to look morally superior, as if she’s the one imparting this lesson. She nods along with several things, arching the occasional eyebrow at one of the other ladies. Genesis and Destyny are too busy giving each other the evil eye to pay attention, and Kate’s forced disinterest has turned to obvious resentment.
I don’t think this presentation is getting us on Kate’s good side, but if it induces her to cut it the fuck out, I’ll take it.
When Emily finishes, she hesitates, then grudgingly asks if there are any questions.
She’s met with resounding silence, and we both breathe a sigh of relief.
Until.
“Aren’t there some exercises in the back of the manual?” Rich asks. “Why don’t we do some of those?”
Emily gives Rich a glare that says she wishes he would wither away right there in his chair. “Are you serious?”
Rich is all innocence. “I mean, they’re in the official training manual, aren’t they?” As if he’s not doing this just because he thinks it will make for amazing footage of the Not-Wives being inappropriate.
Emily looks at me, and I shrug. We’re not in charge here, and while I’m not letting Rich photograph me in underwear again, I feel much better now that I’m back in a t-shirt and cargo shorts. At least if he’s getting footage of these women being ridiculous, that’s less screen time for him to devote to us.
“Fine,” Emily says. Her jaw clenches a little tight, and I wonder if I should have stood up to Rich and put a stop to this. But Emily seems determined now, and I’m not sure I could stopher. She picks up the manual and flips through it. “I need a couple of volunteers.”
Destyny and Genesis both immediately raise their hands, then glare at each other.
