“Oh, the shoes are perfect,” Kate says, crooning at me like she’s talking to a Labrador.
“Um, okay, great.That’s—”
She smooths right over me. “I was so hoping Calista would climb, so that you and I could be partners. Monroe just doesn’t have the climbing experience you and I do.”
I’m pretty sureKatedoesn’t have the climbing experience I do, because if she did, I would have heard of her before this show. I’m not exactly in the highest echelons of climbing professionals, but it’s a tight community, and we all know each other.
“I’m sure Monroe will benefit from your expertise,” I say, proud of myself for coming up with something diplomatic to say to one of them for once.
Kate pouts, like she thought I was going to leap at the chance to partner up with her. She opens her mouth to say something else, but Rich signals to me that they’ve got their reaction shots and we’re ready to roll.
“All right,” I say. “Destyny and Genesis, you’re up!”
They both look up from where Geoff is equipping them with bags of chalk to help them grip the rock.Their twin expressions of abject disgust at getting chalk all over their precious manicures shift into mirrored scowls.
“I’mnotgoing to climb withher,” Genesis says. “She’s arranged this just to have an opportunity to push me off the cliff and make it look like an accident.”
“I would never!” Destyny says. “She’s questioning my integrity, and I won’t stand for that.”
“Oh, honey,” Genesis says. “I would never question your integrity. You don’t have any to question.”
Destyny turns red and steps right up into Genesis’s face. “Ihave the integrity not to punch you in the face, even when you’re being a heinous—”
“Ladies!” Monroe shouts. “We don’t want this negative energy destroying our empowerment exercise, do we? We are here to build each other up, not tear each other down.”
“Well, I’m not climbing with her,” Destyny says. “I’ll lie out with Calista, and Genesis can climb by herself.”
“Good plan,” Genesis says. “You are looking a bit pasty.”
“You bitch!” Destyny shouts, and I’m wondering if I should be grabbing her and hauling her back like I did on two separate occasions with Su-Lin when she tried to launch herself bodily at a man who’d offended her.
Rich steps up before Destyny claws Genesis’s eyes out with her soon-to-be chalk covered nails. “All right, ladies,” he says. “We didn’t realize you’d take offense, but since you don’t want to climb together, Genesis can go up with Emily and Destyny can go up with Jason. You don’t mind, do you guys?”
I mind that a lot less than having to break up a catfight during the climb, even if we do have protective equipment. “Yeah, sure,” I say. I throw a glance over at Emily. She looks less thrilled, but hey, at least this particular camera time won’t be focused on our relationship.They’ll want to catch every moment of the Not-Wives being prissy and entitled. And possibly inept at climbing, my instruction notwithstanding.
“Destyny!” Kate shouts, and Destyny startles, like she didn’t expect to hear her name announced with such gusto. “You were just saying this morning that you wanted to do more energy work with Monroe.This could be a great opportunity for the two of you to align your chakras! Let’s switch partners.”
“I did say that,” Destyny says, looking dubiously at the wall, as if she’s not sure it’s designed for chakra alignment. Which, I’m pretty sure, it is not. “But I wouldn’t dream of taking your partner—”
“It’s my pleasure,” Kate says.
Shit.That means her partner is me.
Rich’s face lights up when he sees how uncomfortable I am with this. “That sounds great, guys,” he says.
The hell it does. “You know, Kate,” I say, “I think Destyny might need more help than you do—”
“Not at all!” Destyny shouts. “I’m easily as good a climber as Kate.”
“Good,” Kate says. “Then that’s settled.” She sidles up to me, and I think Destyny only then realizes that she lost her chance to climb with me, because she suddenly scowls.
“Come on then, Destyny,” Monroe says. “Let’s conquer this lion together.”
I’m not sure this ten-foot climb is a lion, but Monroe certainly looks like she’s staring into the eyes of the beast as she pulls the helmet down over her hair and tightens the strap under her chin.
Emily gives me a look, but grabs a helmet and her own climbing shoes.
I guess we’re doing this.
