“Yes, well.” He pauses, but only a beat. “A video hit the internet about an hour ago. A video of you and Blake that appears to have been taken secretly in one of your trailers.”
My knees go completely weak, and I drop onto the couch. “A video,” I say, my throat dry. I can immediately think of the type of videos that get leaked like this, the type of video that would sell for huge amounts of money, especially of Blake and me. “Of us having sex, I’m guessing?” I’m not sure how I manage to keep my voice so even.
“Yes,” he says, his tone one of extreme reluctance. “But that’s only part of it.There’s a whole conversation beforehand, and . . .”
His pause makes my already stuttering heart stop. Oh no.
“It’s some pretty private stuff,” he says gently. “About you having OCD, and aboutTanner Berg, and your and Blake’s relationship.”
“Oh my god,” I whisper. A sex tape is bad enough. Something I never wanted to be out there. Something I’ve been very careful throughout my career to make an impossibility.
But this . . .
“I’m so sorry, Kim,” Josh says. “I know how awful it can feel to have your privacy violated like this. I get it from a business perspective, and I get it from a personal one. My wife had something like this happen to her awhile ago.”
I nod numbly, though it’s not like he can see me.
“I’ve already been in contact with Camilla and, of course,Tara, and we’ve got a multi-pronged plan in place. I can tell you about it now, or—”
“I—” I cut him off, but I realize I don’t know what to say. Except this: “I need to talk to Blake.”
“Of course,” Josh says. “I’ll email you the plan and keep you updated. In the meantime, you should contact security.They need to find the camera and check out the rest of your trailer for any other recording equipment. I’d call them—and I will, if you want me to—but it’ll take me longer to reach the right people.”
Just as he’s finishing saying this, I hear the trailer door bang open, and Blake call out “Kim?”
I can hear the strain even in that one syllable. He knows.
“Yeah, I’ll do that,” I say to Josh.
Blake throws open the bedroom door, his eyes wide.
“I’ve got to go, Josh,” I say.
“Okay. I’ll keep you posted. We’re going to take care of this in every way possible, Kim. I promise.”
“I know,” I say, because Josh andTara and Blake’s agent, Camilla, are all people who are incredibly good at their jobs and have helped celebrities through this stuff before. “Thank you.”
But what about the things that aren’t possible?The genie may be corralled, but he’s not going back in that bottle.
What about my kids’ reactions, and my parents? What about the world knowing the things about me and my marriage that I couldn’t even tell those I love most?
I press end on the phone call and stare at Blake. He stares back. We’re both in shock, not knowing what to say or do.
Get out of the bugged trailer, for one,a part of my brain tells me.Get security, like Josh said.
But instead I just stand there. “Everything,” I say quietly. “It’s all out there now. Everything.”
Blake steps forward and wraps me in his arms, and I feel my muscles relax a little, even as my brain still sits in its numb stupor.
Not racing, like I’d expect. Not bombarding me with every terrible possible outcome.That’s coming, I’m sure, but for right now, I’ll take the numbness.
Blake just holds me. I want to rest my head in the crook of his neck, but I’ve got Hemlock’s pointy crown fixed to my head with about hundred pins, and I don’t think he wants any of that pressed against his jugular. So I settle for my forehead against his shoulder, my arms around his waist, and his around mine, his heart beating this steady rhythm against me even through the layers of his leather Farpoint costume.
Not a bad thing to settle for.
He pulls back enough to look me in the eyes. “We’re going to be okay,” he says. “You and me. No matter what.”
And despite our sex-tape-slash-marriage-confessional now available for the world to see, for the first time since Blake and I got together again, I know this, deep inside. “We are,” I agree. No hesitation. No fear, for once, not on that front. “No matter what.”
