“That’s not really the part I need advice with. You’re much closer to the rebellious teenage years than I am.”
“Okaaaay.” Kelsey gets up and comes over, checking the fit of the costume piece around my wrists.
“So Ivy’s started talking with this boy online. And he’s fifteen.”
“How old is she?”
“Twelve,” I say. “And so we took away her phone and her computer, mostly because she lied to Kim about him, but also because she’s talking to a fifteen-year-old boy online.”
Kelsey wrinkles her nose. “Yeah, you’re screwed. I can already tell you’re screwed.”
“So I think some of her being upset about us is more that she’s upsetatus, you know? But no matter how many times we explain it, she doesn’t seem to get that we’re trying to protect her.”
“No, and she never will. You’re SOL, dude. Because the worst thing you can do is tell her not to see him, but it’s also the only thing youcando, because she’s twelve years old. Good luck with that.” She picks up the leather vest. “Okay, put on the rest of your costume and let me see how it fits underneath.”
I groan. “We really are screwed, aren’t we?”
She shrugs. “At least you and Kim are in this together?That is seriously bad timing, though.”
It is. “I feel like I messed everything up years ago, when we got divorced. If I had just stuck around and tried harder, none of us would be in this mess. What if I screw it up again?That would be even worse for them.”
Kelsey helps me into the outer vest. Makeup will apply the visor later, which I notice is also back, shiny and clean. “Then don’t fuck it up, right?”
“Ha,” I say. “If only it were so easy.”
“Maybe it is. Maybe I should get you one of those little plastic bracelets printed with it. Don’t fuck it up, Blake. DFIU. I wonder if there’s a market for those.”
I smile. “Good to know my problems are profitable to someone. It sure isn’t my family.”
Kelsey stands back and looks at my costume, then scrunches up her face. I’m not sure if this is a comment on my appearance or my life. “Okay, maybe if you hadn’t messed up, you’d still be married. But I don’t think that you still being married would have any effect on your daughter and this boy.That was caused by you having a girl. And you have, like, six more years before she’s not legally your responsibility anymore! I don’t envy you.”
I close my eyes. “She’s always been such a good, responsible kid.”
“Ooooh, those are the worst. When a good girl goes bad, watch out.”
I shake my head. Ivy’s only twelve years old, and all she’s done is talk to an older boy online. I shouldn’t overreact. Just because she’s whining for her phone back and mad at me and Kim for changing her life doesn’t mean that she’s going to make any big mistakes.
She’s Ivy, and we’ve always been able to talk. “Maybe I just need to talk to her more. Or give her space.”Those two things are opposites, and either one could be the right answer. “I’ve been a parent for twelve years, so you’d think I’d have figured it out by now.”
“If it were me, I’d go with the space option,” Kelsey says. “But I’m not a parent. And given what I put my parents through, I have a whole truckload of karma waiting to drop on my head if I ever do decide to have a kid.”
When I’m all zipped into Farpoint’s overcoat, Kelsey hands me his shoe inserts. “Put these on, and I’ll be back to make sure they fit okay today. We’re trying to get them so they don’t rub your heels, but the foam is giving me fits.” She peers out of the trailer. “Meanwhile, I see Aaron giving that dog a walk, and I’m going to go flirt with him. Give me a couple minutes.”
“How’s that going? You and Aaron, I mean?”
Kelsey frowns. “He seems oddly immune to my advances. I’m starting to wonder if my gaydar is faulty. He doesn’t give off the vibe, but maybe.”
“Look, I owe you for the costume trouble. I’ll talk to Kim and see what we can find out.”
“Totally!” she says with a grin. “I will absolutely collect payment in information.”
“And maybe we’ll be able to set you up.” I realize I’m turning into one of those happy relationship people who feels the need to get everyone else into a relationship, too, but whatever. Kelsey wants to date this guy, and he’s Kim’s assistant. We should be able to facilitate something or at least find out if he’s available.
In fact, that sounds like it could be fun.
Fourteen
Kim
