Blake groans. “We’re idiots.”
He’s got that right. But I’m so happy, I’m all but floating. Yet that fear is still there—a weight holding me down.
“Maybe we shouldn’t tell the kids yet,” I say. “I mean, what if you change your mind, and you can’t deal with being with me, and then we disappoint them—”
“Kim.” He takes my other hand in his so he’s holding them both, and he looks me straight in the eyes. “I can deal with it.That wasn’t really the issue even before.”
I bite my lip. I know he really believes it. But my OCD is still a thing, and even medicated, it will still affect us. What happens if he finds he was wrong?
“If we don’t tell the kids,” he says, “we can’t see each other much. I mean, we can sneak around here, I guess, stay in each other’s rooms while the kids are asleep. But once we go home, they’re either with you or with me, right?They’re going to notice if we’re suddenly sticking them with Marguerite constantly to sneak around together.”
It’s a good point. “And as soon as the public knows, the kids will feel betrayed we didn’t tell them. We’d get caught eventually.”
“The public will already know.There were cameras on us today. Lots of them. We’re probably already all over the internet.”
I sigh heavily. How could I have forgotten all those cameras on us, all those people watching? IfTroy didn’t release the footage himself, there are any number of crew members who probably sold photos for a tidy profit.
“Besides,” he says with a smile, “I’m pretty sure I’m going to be so clingy that I’ll never want to be away from you.”
My heart flutters. “Me too. So we have to tell the kids and the public.” I let out a long, slow breath, steadying myself, and he wraps an arm around me.
“I’m terrified,” he says “You?”
“Completely, utterly terrified,” I admit. Yet, the feel of his arm around me, the memory of his lips on mine—no matter how scared I am, there’s no way I can give this up. Not if he really wants to try.
“I love you,” he says, but there’s a hesitance in his voice. “I’m still afraid I won’t be able to make you happy.”
I lean in closer to him. “You did make me happy. Even when I was losing my mind.” I pause, thinking of something I’ve wished so many times that I’d brought up before. “If you want, we could try therapy. If you’d be okay with that.”
He hugs me tighter. “I always regretted we didn’t do that. We should find someone in Miami, not wait. God knows we could use the help.”
“I like that.” I smile up at him, my brain already going into planning mode. My fingers itch for colored pens to start making lists. “We’ll need to get ahead of the press. Maybe we should write a press release.”
“OrTwitter,” he says. “We could tweet at each other and act like we’re making up online. People will know that’s fake, but we could give them a few details, look like we’re being transparent, and maybe the coverage will be about how cute we are rather than how we can’t control ourselves on set.”
“They’ll still say that, but getting them to root for us wouldn’t hurt.” Now I do groan. “I need to call my agent and get my publicist on this. I should have done that an hour ago.”
He elbows me. “You would have, if I wasn’t so distracting.”
Distracting is right.
Blake leans into me, and we stretch out together on the bed. We’re stroking each other’s arms and shoulders and hair, and I’m pretty sure our hands are about to roam elsewhere and tear each others’ clothes off all over again, but for this moment, we just hold each other close, breathe each other in.
“The sexy outfit you had on before wasn’t helping,” I say. “You know I’ve always loved a man with a visor full of pinpoint holes.”
He laughs. “The crown of branches is definitely way more attractive.”
My hand migrates down his chest, feeling the hard, sculpted muscles underneath his t-shirt. “You have been working out.”
“Yeah, it was very important that I get into shape . . . to play ateleporter. Why does Farpoint walkanywhere?They should have made me put on fifty pounds for all the exercise he probably gets.”
I laugh, and I think it’s probably the most pure, honestly happy laugh I’ve had in years. I’m giddy with the miracle of being in Blake’s arms again, of hearing that he loves me and always has, of the possibilities ahead.
The fear is still there, that he’ll eventually realize he was right to leave in the first place, that being with me and all my issues is worse than he remembers. Fear that this will all go badly and I’ll be devastated all over again. But I push that fear down the same way I would shove away those flickers of hope, and I focus on right here and now.
Because right here and now I’m with Blake, and he wants to be with me—he still loves me!—and my whole world makes sense in a way I never thought it would again.
Eleven
