“They’re tiny. I am a grown-ass—”
“Grown-ass hobbit, maybe.” He shoves the shoes at me. “And they’re supposed to be tight. Put ‘em on.”
Drinking did not improve Jason’s mood.Though it did give him rosy cheeks and the breath of that homeless guy who used to hang out in front of Fong’s and tell me his strong opinions on the fall fashion line’s overuse of feathers. He was actually pretty nice and usually not wrong.
“Are you sure you didn’t drink too much to . . .” I trail off when I see the death look Jason gives me.
Okaaaay, challenging his drunken climbing abilities is on the no-no list. Got it.
I kick off my chucks and pull on the little climbing shoes, which do stretch out enough to fit.They also have a really stiff sole, which is weird.
“You ready for this?” Brendan asks, walking over to me. His tutorial with Nate didn’t take long—apparently belaying isn’t a difficult skill.
I cringe.There’s no point in trying to hide my nerves from Brendan. He knows heights aren’t my favorite. We went on a Ferris wheel once, and he had to practically pry me off of him with a crowbar afterward (though maybe not all of that was because of fear, if I’m being totally honest.) “I’ve got the super attractive footwear part down,” I say, showing off my shoes.
“Clearly.”
“And you’ll belaying me,” I say with a coy smile, because I can’t resist saying that yet again and because joking helps ease my nerves. “No pressure, but you’d better bring your A-game.”
He grins back. “Good thing for you, Ialwaysbring my A-game.”
God, I want to find out. Even just joking about this is making me warm all over. I take a deep breath that is shaky for a number of reasons.
Jason’s producer, Nate, is working the crowd, getting them to cheer even though nothing has actually started yet. He’s got two lines formed on either side behind a microphone—these would be the two teams, I suppose.This thing is a quiz show, and Nate will be asking the questions. Depending on which team gets the right answer, either Jason or I will climb up to a part of the wall marked at intervals with tape.The first of us to ring the bell at the top (oh my god, how far up is that bell?) wins, and that team gets a bunch of swag, including someReal SockwivesDVDs and t-shirts we donated to the cause.
Easy-peasy. I just have to climb the thing. With any luck, my team will be terrible.
“All right, everyone, are you ready to see me climb some shit?” Jason calls out into a microphone, and the crowd goes nuts. Brendan gives me a wink and steps back. I wish he would have squeezed my hand just once.
“But as you know, it’s not just me climbing shit today,” Jason continues. “I know who you’re really here to see—say hi to the most lovely hobbit in all the shire, the talented and ferocious Su-Lin Liu!”
The crowd laughs and whoops; Jason called me “hobbit” onStarving with the Stars,so they all feel like they’re in on the joke. And I have to say—drinking and being in a pissy mood doesn’t make Jason any less capable of working a crowd. He still sounds like Jason, just a smidge louder than usual.
I wave and grin.There’s even more energy here than at a well-attended panel, and it’s fun to be the recipient of all that enthusiasm. I see Emily in the front row, a few seats down from Warren. She gives me a big thumbs up.
“And don’t forget to welcome the lucky guy belaying her, half of the newSockwivesduo, Brendan Pike!” Jason says, gesturing back to him.
Brendan looks a little startled, clearly not expecting to be called out like that. He gives a little wave, and the crowd whoops some more.
“Last and certainly least, you all know Nate. He’s going to be doing what he does best. Asking stupid questions.”
The crowd roars at this. Nate’s a fan favorite on the show, a nice wry balance to Jason’s exuberance. He’s also really cute, which doesn’t hurt—he looks kind of like Daveed Diggs, actually. He’s got the same sepia skin and curly hair, and he even pulls it back in a ponytail like Lafayette. Which might be part of the reason I made out with him once at a party two years ago, though the follow-up date was super awkward and, honestly, kind of boring.Turns out dating a guy based on his physical similarity to my favorite celebrity might not have been the brightest idea in the world.
Jason goes on to explain the rules of the game, designating the team on the right facing the rock wall to beTeam Sockwives and the team on the left to beTeam Climbing Sh!t.Then he hands off the mic to Nate and clips a little wireless mic around his ear. He gives me one, and I do the same.
Fantastic. Now everyone will be able to hear if I start hyperventilating.
I position myself in the lane where I’ll be climbing, which I notice has a lot more of those colorful hand and foot-holds than Jason’s does.This is good. Not only am I a total newb, but his legs and arms are, like, twice as long as mine. It’s possible this is the kiddie track, which I’m cool with. I bounce a bit on the padding that’s set up underneath the wall. It’s not as thick as I’d like, but it would be better to fall on than the concrete convention floor underneath.
Also, I notice that for all Jason’s insistence that I have the proper footwear, he’s just kicked off his flip-flops and is going barefoot. He’s also not wearing a harness at all.
Show-off.
I shoot one last nervous look at Brendan, who gives just enough tug on the rope that I can feel it in my harness, and smiles. It’s his way of saying,I’ve got you.
I can do this. It’s just a stupid climbing wall, and I can’t actually get hurt. Brendan’s got me.
“Okay, party people,” Nate starts. “Team Sockwives won the coin flip, so they start. Here’s the first question. OnStarving with the Stars, who was most likely to be found wandering the island naked?”
