I add a bunch of smiley faces for good measure, and then walk back inside the convention center before he can see how unsmiley my real face is.
Twelve
Brendan
Icatch up to Su-Lin as she’s headed to her rock wall event. I need to go, too—I’mbelayingher, as she’s told me about ten times, and so far I’ve managed not to make any jokes back about how I could be laying her any time she feels like she’s ready for that. I don’t want to put pressure on her. It’s me who can’t be the person she needs me to be. My balls are blue as hell, but I have no one to blame for this but my own damn self.
I walk up beside her as she’s heading toward the exhibition hall to the far side where Jason has erected his enormous rock wall. “Did he bring that thing in on a semi?” I ask.
Su-Lin smiles at me, and it’s bright and chipper and seems normal, which is something of a relief after I saw her laughing with that blond guy. Again. “Probably. He may call me hobbit, but he’s definitely the one compensating for something.”
I’m trying to figure out how to casually ask about that guy she was talking to without sounding like a jealous prick. Which I totally am. I was ignoring that perfectly nice girl I had lunch with to stare at them, so that much should be obvious.
Su-Lin, thankfully, gives me a segue.
“So how did lunch with that girl go?” she asks.
“Fine.Talking with someone who was not you successfully accomplished.”
“Do you think you’ll see her again?”
I squint at her. I’m not sure what would give her that idea. “Nah. Second dates with other people aren’t required, right?”
“Right,” Su-Lin says.
“But you were talking with that guy from the prom, right? What was his name?”
“Warren,” she says. “Yeah, we just ran into each other.”
“You were looking for a date, weren’t you? You could have brought him over to eat with us.”
“Maybe.” She shrugs absently. “I didn’t want to interrupt you, though.” She doesn’t sound upset or anything, but she’s not meeting my eyes.
She cuts in front of me as we thread through the busy exhibition hall, around a demo for a goat simulator video game that literally simulates being a goat. Who is, if what’s on the screen is any indication, occasionally on the run from the law. I’m trying to figure out how to respond. She didn’t want to interrupt me? On my pseudo-date that was supposed to be a double pseudo-date when she found someone to join us? She was supposed to be (not literally) holding my hand through this, but now she’s pretending like she forgot. Besides which, I saw her laughing. I don’t know what they were talking about, but that wasdefinitelythe same smile she gives me.
I continue to follow Su-Lin—who is walking twice as fast as is warranted, especially given that her legs are so much shorter than mine—past a vendor who is trying to explain to some tween fan’s father why None Pizza with Left Beef is a thing, and toward an improbable booth set up by, of all people, the History Channel. I’m not sure what the History Channel is airing that they think would appeal to this audience—perhaps a rip-off ofDrunk History?—but as we pass their booth, Su-Lin stops so fast that I nearly run her over. She points at a blond woman standing behind a signing table and yells “BreakupTub!”
I look at this woman.The BreakupTub is a dish served at the restaurant where Su-Lin used to work—a dish I’ve never been brave enough to try. It’s a carton of ice cream mixed with whatever candy and toppings the chef feels like dumping in at the time, and while Su-Lin does have a habit of shouting upon meeting new people what Fong’s dish she thinks they’re most like, the BreakupTub does not seem like a flattering one.
The clean-cut blond man sitting behind the signing table stares at Su-Lin in alarm, but the girl she’s pointing at breaks into an enormous smile. “Su-Lin!” she shouts, jumping to her feet. “Oh my god, it’s been years!”
“I know!” Su-Lin says. “What have you been up to?”
“Well, I got married, for one.” She gestures to the guy beside her. “This is my husband Will. He’s a writer, working on a History Channel show.” She nudges his shoulder with her hip, and he smiles up at her. “We officially got together at Fong’s, believe it or not.”
Su-Lin’s eyes widen. “Are you serious?That’s amazing!” She bounces excitedly, grinning back and forth between them.
“Right?” Blond Woman—BreakupTub, I guess—grins. “You’d already left by then. I heard you’re rebooting your show!”
“I am,” Su-Lin says. She puts a hand on my arm. “With the help of my fabulous business partner.”
The woman’s eyes fall on me, and Su-Lin suddenly looks uncomfortable. “This is Brendan. I want to introduce you, but I just realized I don’t remember your name.”
“Gabby,” the girl says. “Though BreakupTub works too.”
Gabby’s husband smiles, so I’m guessing I’m the only one who doesn’t knowwhythat’s something she might want to be called. She reaches out to shake my hand.
“Don’t worry,” I say. “She shouts Fong’s dishes at everyone.The first time we met, she called me Kung Pao Pancakes.”
