He stares into my eyes for a long moment. Part of me hopes he can read in them what I meant to say, and part of me is afraid he will see and run far, far away. My pulse pounds in my ears, drowning out the announcer in Ender dragon cosplay reading off the game winner’s stats.
“Thanks,” Brendan says. He looks away.
I feel like I let him down somehow, like I said too much or maybe not enough.
“I’m going to go back to our room and take a nap,” he continues. “Rest up for tonight’s big party.”
I nod.There were so many times after my mom left that I felt like I couldn’t ever say the right thing to help my dad, who became like a shadow of his previous self, sitting in his armchair all the time, watching reruns ofMatlockon what must have been some weird all-Andy-Griffith cable channel.
But if I just tried to stay happy and peppy and upbeat, that seemed to make things a little better. “You should, because it’s going to be a killer party,” I say, trying to act way more excited about this than I actually am. “Su-Lin room parties are pretty much the talk of the con. Su-Linand Brendanparties are going to be insane.”
He chuckles. “I bet.”Then he gives my hand a squeeze that makes me think maybe he doesn’t want to let go.
He does, though, and walks into the crowd.They part and flow back around him.
My hand feels empty, and I let out a long breath.
I decide to go back to our booth and check in on Emily andTate.There has to be some good news there.They were all over each other at the prom last night.
I make my way past more exhibits and games and booths, bummed when I see that a Monty Python t-shirt Brendan would really like is sold out in his size. I’ll have to check that out online. I pause in surprise when I see that Mystique, aka “the Human Chameleon,” is here, and she’s actually doing live makeovers! (Should I get a makeover? How awesome would I look as the Corpse Bride?) And then I finally—sans dramatic makeover, sadly—reach our booth, where Emily is restocking.
“Hey!” she says when she sees me. “These shirts are selling like crazy. Especially theSocktor Whoone.”
It’s hard to be super stoked about merch sales when I’m still thinking about Brendan’s anxiety, but I try anyway. “Nice! Maybe in my next panel I’ll talk upStarving with the Socks, so we can get those moving, too.” I sit on one of the empty chairs behind the booth. “Sooo, how’d you enjoy prom last night?”
She grins. “It was actually really fun! I still can’t believe Jason climbed the scaffolding.That guy is crazy.”
She’s not wrong, but I didn’t need to hear about that, given that I saw it, too. Also, Jason is not who I want to hear about right now.
“Yeah, but what about you andTate?” I’m not even pretending to be subtle.
“I don’t know, it was kind of . . . meh.”
My eyes widen.That is not how it looked to me. Besides, they’re Emily andTate!They are so cute together and liked each other so much and—
Emily bursts out laughing. “I’m kidding! God, your expression. It’s like I murdered one of your puppets!”
“Wait, so—”
“Tate and I had a very good time.” Her brown eyes sparkle mischievously.
“Really?” I lean in. “How good, exactly?”
“The kind of good where I remember exactly how fantastic your cousin is in bed.”
“Yay! I mean, ew, but also yay!” I clap my hands together. “So my plan is a success?”
“So far. How about your plan regarding your casual dating?”
My excitement is tempered quite a bit by that question. “I accidentally set him up with a girl who it turned out was a little more into me than him,” I admit. I still feel dumb about that, like I failed the Plan—and him—somehow. And also dumb about how much it bothered me seeing them dancing together, before I knew she was using him as a way to get an intro to me. “But he did dance with her, then danced with two other girls before we went back to the hotel room.”
“Sounds good, then.” Emily says this like she doesn’t actually believe it’s good.
“It is,” I say firmly. “If we date other people, then it both helps him with social anxiety and makes his brain not feel the pressure of being in a serious relationship with me.”Until one day it’ll let him be okay with that,I finish to myself.Please, please, let him one day be okay with that.
Emily nods. “Oh! If you’re looking for people to set him up with, there’s always Jane Shaw.”
My guts constrict on themselves. “What? Why her?”
