“Why do people send dick picks anyway?” Maya asks. “Is anyone legitimately attractedonlyto someone’s dick?”
I shouldn’t like the direction of this conversation, but I do. Mostly because it feels good just to talk to her again, to be the person to whom she spills all the thoughts in her head.
Even the ones about dick pics.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m not generally into guys’ dicks to begin with.”
“Okay. But if some girl sends you just a picture of her vagina, is that attractive?”
Um. “Depends on the girl,” I say honestly.
“Like, some vaginas are attractive and some aren’t? Is this really a thing?”
I laugh. “I think it’s more like some advances are welcome and some aren’t. Like, if I’m into the girl, then that’s hot. But if I’m not . . .”
“I can see that. So it’s not the vagina in question that’s attractive, it’s the person sending it to you.”
I shrug. “I guess? But if I’m honest, I’ve found some girls more attractive to look at down there than others. So maybe there is an objective component.”
“Huh,” Maya says. “I wonder where mine fits, objectively. It’s not like girls I know sit around and compare.”
My jeans get tight. I shouldn’t say this, so I try to sound like I’m joking. “If you need an objective opinion you could send me a pic,” I say. “I promise not to take it the wrong way.”
My face burns. Oh, god, I am now that guy who is asking for nude pictures. It’s not so much that I need images of her naked as that I want her to send me one—I want her towantto come on to me. I want to spend the next few days—weeks, months even—reveling in everything that could mean. Especially after the misery of the last twenty-four hours, I just want to believe that there’s hope.
“I don’t know,” she says. She sounds nervous, but there’s a sexy edge to her voice, too, like part of her wants to, and god, do I ever want her to lean into that. I want her to think about me like that, as a guy she could come on to, as a guy who wants her. “I don’t want to be the stupid girl who’s sending nude pictures. What if your phone gets hacked?That’s a thing with celebrities, isn’t it?”
Ugh.The fame thing.That’s always what gets in the way with us. “You could email it to me,” I say. I’m trying to sound nonchalant, like I’m really just doing her a favor, but I’m pretty sure I’m failing.
I tell myself I’m not trying to take advantage of her. I don’t want to do that, not ever.
But god, do I ever wantthis.
“Okay, but what if my email gets hacked?”
“You don’t have to,” I say. “But if that’s all you’re worried about, you could make a dummy email address just for that. And then ifmyemail got hacked, yeah, the picture might get out, but no one would ever know it was you.”
She laughs, and it, too, sounds nervous, and maybe also a little excited. I might be reading that into it, though, because I want so bad for her to want this with me. Not the pictures, exactly, but the sexual advances and everything that might come after.
“Would I be the only one sending a picture?” she asks. Nowshesounds like she’s trying to sound nonchalant, and I have to shift because my zipper is getting so tight.
“Are you saying you want to see a picture of my dick? Because I’ll send you one, but I thought you didn’t see why anyone would ever want one.”
Maya pauses, and my heart slams against my ribs. Is she regretting this conversation? Worse, does she feel like I’m being a perv? I so badly don’t want to be that guy.
“It only seems fair, though,” she says. “If I’m sending one to you . . .”
“You’re right,” I say, my breath catching. “Fair is fair.”
“Okay,” she says, finally. “Hang on while I make that new email address.”
Damn. I’ve never taken naked pictures to send to a girl. I’m suddenly super self-conscious. Not in the least because my zipper is about to bust. “So, um,” I say, “what are your expectations for this picture?”
Maya laughs. It’s sounding more excited than nervous now. Maybe a little giddy. “I don’t require you to line it up with a ruler, if that’s what you’re asking.”
My face grows hotter. “Yeah, not exactly. I mean, you can send me a picture, but the um, condition of your, um . . .”
“Condition?” Maya says. Now she just sounds purely confused, and with good reason. “Of my vagina?”
