“I come out to Denver a lot,” I say, hoping maybe that will make a difference. But Maya continues to look at me sadly.
“I’m not interested in something casual,” she says, “and I don’t see how a relationship can work under these circumstances.”
And even though I said as much earlier in the conversation, I’m now desperate for that not to be true. I don’t miss the irony that now I have what I’ve worked for my whole life, I’m starting to chafe at the cost. Usually it’s something I push out of my mind, but here Maya is, telling me maybe I’d have a chance with her, if I were anyone but me.
“I’m going to have to hope that isn’t true,” I say.
Maya shrugs, looking down at her hands, and I can’t help but wish she hadn’t kissed me. Now I’m all wound up with no place to go, but I’m also desperate to convince her not to walk away.
“I could call you a Lyft,” I say. “Or you could hang out for a while, and we could watch a movie. Did your friends get you a birthday cake? I bet room service could dig something up.”
I expect her to say that she can get her own Lyft, but she pauses, considering, and then stretches out on my bed. “A movie sounds good. And no, we had margaritas, not cake. What are you in the mood for?”
I’m in the mood to take Maya in my arms and make a solid argument for why she should give me a chance to convince her things could work between us. I could be up here a couple weeks a month, if I rearranged some things. But I’m pretty sure I just got hardcore friend-zoned. Shane or JT would mock me for this, but maybe I’ve been lacking for friends outside of the music scene. So I put in a call to room service, asking for a cake with candles, and I fire up Netflix and let her choose.
And hope that being friends with Maya will be better than being nothing at all.
We end up watchingParanormal Activityand eating cheesecake with candles in it (that being what room service could come up with in the middle of the night). We stay up laughing and talking until it starts getting light outside, and she finally lets me call her that Lyft. I give her my phone number and she gives me hers, but after she leaves, I can’t help but think about the fact that though we spent the whole night on the bed talking, we didn’t touch again.
I’ve definitely been friend-zoned, and when Shane bangs on my door at nine AM, I’m grumpy about it.
“Go away,” I yell at him. I’ve had about two hours sleep and my whole body aches like I’m coming down from a fever.
“No way,” Shane says. “I found this new breakfast place on Yelp that serves all kinds of weird crap.The hash browns are apparently cooked in duck fat. We’ve got to check it out.”
I am really not ready to admit to heartache over a girl I knew for one night. I will never live that down. “I feel like that was supposed to sound good,” I yell at the door. “But it doesn’t.”
“Duuuuude!” Shane yells. “If it’s terrible, we can get a Voodoo donut. But I want to try this place. Get up.”
I groan and open the door, because Shane isn’t going to go away. I collapse back in bed. “Seriously. I’m not into it.”
“Wow,” Shane says, looking me up and down. “I’d say you must have had a good night, but you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.Things didn’t go well with that girl from the party?”
“We hung out. She was freaking awesome, actually.”
“Okay,” Shane says. “So what’s the problem?”
I wish he would just assume I was up all night getting laid, but no. Shane probably did just that, and he’s still up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning.
I love Shane, but sometimes I hate him.
“This girl,” I say. “She was amazing, and she rejected me, okay? So get the hell out and let me wallow.”
“So some girl rejected you. We have girls after us all the time. Who cares about that one?”
I do. I sigh into my pillow. I already know Shane is going to convince me to get up and eat hash browns fried in duck fat just to find out if that’s a good thing. But I’m miserable enough to be slow about it. “Don’t you ever want anything more than a life banging groupies?”
Shane scoffs. “No. Why would I?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “Maybe I’m lonely.”
“Dude, you wouldn’t be if you’d get your ass out of bed. JT’s in the shower, and then we’re going to head out.” He pauses, and I turn my head to the side and catch him looking at me like he’s worried. “Seriously, are you okay?”
He’s actually asking, and if I tell him the truth now, he’ll mock me, but he’ll listen. He’s my friend, and he cares about me.
“Yeah,” I say. “I just really liked this girl.”
“Yeah, well,” Shane says. “Trust me. Relationships are overrated. You should know. You were there.”
