Elizabeth’s hackles rose. “And how is it you know him so well, madam?”
Her smile turned rueful. “Jasper and Roland—the Duke of Allendale, that is—saved my life. I am not a native of your land, as I am sure you have guessed. They found me on their travels to East Asia, where I was shackled, you might say, to a deeply undesirable fate.”
Elizabeth’s thoughts flew in a million directions, but she knew better than to interrupt and give Miss Li a reason to tell her less.
“I was grateful enough for their help that I rewarded both men in the only manner I knew how. And Jasper and Roland, being of youthful temper in those days, did not take kindly to being rewarded in like fashion.” Li barely contained her smirk. “They thought themselves in love, but really they were but enraptured by my skill.” She paused. “I know how to wrap a man about my finger, Elizabeth. I believe that is the expression here, yes?”
Elizabeth could not imagine her husband in love with anyone, not even Miss Li.
“When I let both men know I wanted neither of their hearts, they decided their friendship was worth more than a woman who did not return their affections. So they dumped me here in London and went about their?—”
“Theydumpedyou?” Elizabeth exclaimed. “After they’d used you so shamelessly?”
Li’s eyes sparked. “Elizabeth, your outrage flatters, but I assure you it wasIwho used them. Back then, I trusted no man, none. I believed myself better off without them. Little did I know that London was not Kyoto. It was impossible to be as self-sufficient here as I’d been there…” She broke off, as if memories pained her.
“Suffice to say, I did not fare well in your fair city. Yet Roland and Jasper selflessly came to my rescue again, past grievances forgotten. They saved me not once, but twice, Elizabeth. Twice do I owe both men my life. And in return they asked for nothing.”
The intensity of Li’s expression nearly blinded Elizabeth.
“I do not think you realize what a gift that is to a woman with my past. They asked for nothing in return, Elizabeth.Nothing. And so I trust them like I trust no others. They are my family. And though I do not hesitate to call them out when they are being what you English call knuckleheads”—Elizabeth smiled at the lady’s choice term—“at heart they are the most noble men I know. They are noble when it counts most, you see. When a person needs them most. I cannot call them good men, not the way you English define this word ‘good.’ But noble, honorable, these are words I understand. This is what allows me to trust them implicitly.”
Elizabeth’s tea had grown lukewarm. She recalled what the Duchess of Allendale had said of the Duke, and what all Miss Li’sservants had told her of Jasper Audrey, friend to whores. Again and again they’d spoken of Milton’s generosity. And yet with her, his own wife, the Baron remained callous and cruel.
Miss Li lifted the teapot as Elizabeth held out her cup for more. The liquid arced to the porcelain, not a drop spilled. The lady swirled the dark brew in her cup before she inhaled its steam, bathing her face in mist.
“He beat you, I know,” she told Elizabeth quietly. “He should not have.”
Elizabeth could not respond to such a statement.
“He told me how much he regrets it, Elizabeth.”
Her lips merely tightened.
“Jasper was beaten himself, often, as a boy. He was beaten to comply. And it was not his mother who beat him.”
Elizabeth sucked in her next breath.
“When he was older, he beat others for their pleasure. It is a difficult concept to grasp, but for some, there is release in pain. And Jasper…” She sighed. “He was forced to do things to spare his mother, to defend those he’d sworn valiantly to protect.”
Li’s eyes met Elizabeth’s with painful honesty—a look she imagined this woman showed few. “For a good part of his life, you see, Jasper had no control over his existence. He worked incredibly hard to regain that control, so when anything threatens to steal it, to upend the life he’s so carefully built, I believe it robs him of his ability to think clearly. He reverts to old patterns, to instincts carved deep in his bones.”
A chill crawled up Elizabeth’s spine.
“And you, my dear, threaten Jasper in ways he’s not been threatened before. Your very presence disrupts his life. With every attempt you make to understand him better, you force him to understand himself, to reconcile the present with the past—a task few willingly undertake. I do not think Jasper understood this when he married you. He did not realize that to open himselfto feeling, he would also open himself to hurt. And so he fights this hurt, fightsyou, Elizabeth, with the only weapons he knows: punishment and pain. For that is how others hurt him.”
Li took a long sip and leaned back against her seat. “I do not tell you this to excuse his actions—please understand me.” She looked at Elizabeth intently. “Neverwill I excuse a man who beats his wife, who beats any woman. But I do not believe it was Jasper’s conscious intent to do you harm. And I stand by my knowledge of him as an honorable man.”
Elizabeth remained silent, because Li’s words made matters only more difficult; it was easier to hate her husband than to feel empathy for him.
“Tell me, Miss Li, do you know about his rules?”
“Rules?” The lady frowned.
“The Baron taught me six lessons the week we courted. Rules specific to his wife, apparently.”
“Interesting,” Li murmured.
“Do not cross him, do not insult by being late, do not goad him, do not touch without permission, do not try his patience, and do not disobey.”
