“I do not know how else to be.” She stepped further away. “I can no sooner deny tenderness of feeling than I can mete out revenge with a ruler. It is not in my nature to abuse, Jasper. I am not Finch, and so I cannot—” Her face paled even more. “Clearly, I cannot give you what you need.”
She left. Elizabeth left him with his hand plucked clean and his heart splitting in two, tears falling like sparks from his eyes. He stood in his room wanting his wife more desperately than he’d ever wanted anything in the world.
That he could not have her—did not deserve her—was the greatest evil Finch had wrought.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Elizabeth’s nausea had abated enough that all desire to remain abed, in the prison of her husband’s home, fled. She found every conceivable excuse now to escape, beginning with a visit to deliver Bella her belated birthday gift.
To her surprise, she discovered her sister in the lap of marital bliss. Arthur Harris was not the match Elizabeth had hoped for Annabelle, but if he made her happy and kept her safe, God bless.
She would have liked such happiness herself.
Papa and Cook also fared well enough now that Father’s house was back in order. Already, a wealthy widow had appeared in his sights, but even this thought did not rankle. If the lady brought Papa happiness, so be it. If she brought him funds, all the better. For what did any of it matter anymore? Elizabeth’s perspective had fundamentally changed, or perhaps her anger had simply receded. Bella didn’t need her, and Papa would muddle on. She even paid a call to Lady Stanton and her pug, realizing she preferred the company of her odious former neighbor over the company of her own odious husband.
Though her visit with Lady Stanton was less odious than expected. In fact, the lady regaled her with such a healthy dollopof gossip, Elizabeth was reminded that a world existed beyond the confines of her own diminished life.
She must make an effort to venture out more often.
“Lizzie, dear, I daresay you neither look nor sound yourself this day. Is all still rosy in the land of matrimony?”
“Thorny as ever, Lady Stanton.” She pasted on a smile.
“Come, come,” the lady tutted. “Why, my own Lord Stanton, bless his dear, departed soul, was not nearly so thrilling as your Baron.”
“Thrilling,madam,is overrated.”
“So honeymoon ends, and ho hum sets in?” The lady peered closely at her.
“Not all marriages begin with honeymoons, I fear.”
Lady Stanton pinched her lips as she stroked Sir Wigglebottom’s head. “You are in a slump, I see, and the only way out of that, dear, is to remind yourself there are worse marriages than yours.”
Elizabeth stifled her retort.
“Now don’t grow angry with me just because you are angry with your husband,” Lady Stanton chided. “I know that look.”
Elizabeth bit her tongue. Barely.
“You need correcting, Lady Milton, and since your mother is no longer with us, I shall take it upon myself to?—”
Elizabeth rose from her seat.
“Sit down, Baroness!” the lady barked. “You may leave as soon as I have finished, but you will do me the courtesy of listening to my words now as it wasyouwho called onme.”
Elizabeth could not argue with that pronouncement. She sank back into her seat.
“The Duke of Lennox is hosting his heir’s engagement ball this Saturday. I shall procure you and the Baron an invitation and?—”
Elizabeth tried, but failed, to interrupt the lady.
“As one does not refuse a duke, you will of course attend. And in attending, you will be reminded, I hope, of every match avoided when you accepted Baron of Milton’s hand. Every sallow male face judging this season’s debutantes will make you grateful for your husband, for you would have been miserable with their lot, Lizzie, admit it.”
Would she though?
“They ignored you the moment you came out and spoke unkindly of your spectacles after. Yet now, as Lady Milton, you may enter any ballroom in London with your head held high.”
Elizabeth was incredulous. Lady Stanton had not a clue as to what theTontrulythought of her husband’s purchased Barony or of her, his purchased bride. Milton had married Elizabethto raisehisstanding in society, not the other way around. How was this lady so blind?
