Eleanor
Charles put down the letter with trembling hands and met John Cuthbert’s eyes. He did not flinch, having apologized to her the moment he’d handed her the note.I’d no choice but to tell her, miss, y’ know how she gets. She demanded the truth and as we’re t’ marry I couldn’t . . .But Charles had paid him no heed, tearing into the letter and reading it with growing horror, her heart in her throat, Ellie’s words searing her insides.
She had to sit down; she felt weak and winded, her heart a lump of lead.
“Cuthbert, what am I to do?” she beseeched.
“Well, I’d expect . . . That is, y’ ought to go and see her, Charles. Put things right between the two o’ you again.”
“No, not Ellie, John. What am I to do about . . .” She could not say his name.
John stepped beside her then, putting his hand warmly on her shoulder and squeezing just a little. “He’ll have t’ wed, miss, much as he won’t want to. He’s the Duke’s only son, he’s no choice. And if not Mowry it’ll be some other lady o’ theTon. He needs an heir and that’s all there is to it, Charles. I’m sorry, gel.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I have always known, only I did not expect to feel so much for him.” She gulped. “I did not think Icould be so foolish, John, so weak.” And she nearly sobbed then, catching herself just in time, for the last thing she wanted was pity from Cuthbert, from anyone really. The steward had seen her low before.
“Miss.” His hand squeezed hers again in comfort. “I love him too. He’s all the family I have, me best mate. And despite his rough ways he’s a good man, regardless o’ what yer sister thinks of him now. You and I both know he’s flawed but no fiend. Y’ see him for what he is,whohe is, which is why he loves you too, no doubt in me mind. Only he’s not like us, Charles. He can’t allow himself t’ love same as you or me and Ellie can. His duty’s to the Dukedom, which by needs must come first. The best y’ can hope is t’ remain his mistress, gel, and if that’s no life for yer then you’ll have t’ leave, ’cause he’ll not give yer up willingly, gel. If I know Wells, he’ll keep yer for as long as he can.”
Charles hid her face in her hands, knowing Cuthbert was right. She’d seen Lord Wells kiss Miss Mowry just yesterday; their betrothal was imminent. And she knew she couldn’t share him with another, she wouldn’t. She’d have to leave, and soon, but not to set up house with Ellie and John, no. She couldn’t stomach their happiness—not that she begrudged them this—it simply asked of her too much. She’d need to flee much further than her father’s house, somewhere Roland Wellesley would not venture to find her. A place he would be loath to look.
Unfortunately, it was a place she loathed just as much.
Wells knew his housekeeper was deliberately avoiding him. Why must every woman under his roof be such a pain in the arse? Bad enough his mother was still gadding about with Miss Mowry, but to have his mistress now ignore him was an affront that cut deep.
Which is why, despite his vow to never again read Charles’s correspondence, Wells intercepted another letter, snatching it from Cuthbert’s hands.
“Give it here, sir.” His steward scowled.
“You’ll get it in a minute, John.” Wells scowled back, opening the note to quickly glean its contents.
“Yer Grace, y’ swore you’d not?—”
“I know what I said, John, but I’ve changed my mind now that she’s shut me out, avoiding me at every turn. How the bloody hell else am I supposed to know why she’s behaving like a?—?”
“Y’ could ask her, for God’s sake,” Cuthbert snarled at him. “Y’ could ask her like a man, rather’n the coward you’ve become.”
This felt like a punch to gut, coming from John. But Wells bit his lip and ignored the insult, scanning the letter.
Dearest Ellie,
I am sorry for our fighting too. Forgive me, sister, for not wishing you the very best on your betrothal. It seems there is cause for celebration here, too, as it is only a matter of time, I believe, before Lord Wellesley announces his engagement to the young lady currently visiting.
Wells froze. Did she really assume this?
I promise to be happy on both counts, as best I can, truly, and shall endeavor to visit you and Papa as soon as I am able. Only the work of added guests has me bone tired these days, worn weary. And to worry about Papa now is but another stress.
Only please do not worry about me. Despite all you now think and write of Lord Wells he is not so bad as you believe. Yes, he forced me into the position I find myself in, but Icannot say I have not enjoyed his attentions. It is a slippery slope to allow oneself feelings. I sincerely hope with all my heart that you have found in John Cuthbert a man true and steady. I believe that you have.
I do not hold such hope for myself. I am ruined, after all, and not unwillingly, I admit. I shall leave Lord Wells as soon as he is married and plan otherwise for my future, but I will not impose upon you and John, Ellie. I could not. I am happy for you, truly, but I do not think I could withstand such happiness when my own heart, for better or worse, feels numb. I will recover, sister, do not pity or judge me for my actions, I beg. I love you even when we argue, Ellie, and would steal his lordship’s chickens all over again knowing the good it has brought you—not just baskets of food but a husband no less.
Bless you and John and may God keep you both, and Papa, safe.
Charles
So. Eleanor Merrinan knew the truth of him and no doubt despised him utterly. He was surprised the lady had not shown up on his doorstep demanding satisfaction.
And his Fox? She planned to leave him as soon as he wed,assumedthat he would wed, damn her. Is that what everyone now assumed, including Mowry? He’d not decided himself yet to go through with any marriage, and he certainly wouldn’t tie himself to another woman if it meant losing Charles. She was the one bright light in his life, the one female who . . . fit. He’d not lose her. He’d simply need to convince her to stay on as his mistress when he married. She could remain his housekeeper if she liked. Or better yet, he’d find a cottage somewhere on his lands that he could furnish as a sort of ‘love nest’ for her. Hell, she could open up her own school even if it would make her happy to teach the village children as her father had. In truth,Wells didn’t care what she did. He simply couldn’t lose her, not over so insignificant a detail as marriage.
“Give it me, sir.” Cuthbert’s voice cut into his thoughts.
