Won’t be the first time and, honestly, probably won’t be the last.
“Well,Kathy, I have a date for you.” I force the smile onto my face.
“With your Fitz?” Kathy cries.
“He’s not my Fitz,” I snap then try to calm down. “Anyways, he’s going to let me know when the date will be and where. I’m going to give you my credit card. You need to buy some West Coast–appropriate outfits. Seattle men of his caliber like a certain understated luxury.”
“Didn’t he grow up in a polygamist commune?” Kathy wrinkles her nose. “That’s what Carolina said.”
“Don’t mention the commune on your date,” I scold. “I’m going to give you a list of safe topics. Study it because there will be a quiz.”
“I don’t think I can go.” Kathy hugs herself.
“Kathy,” I bark at her, hating that I sound like a bitch. “I am doing this for your benefit. Everyone here has had to uproot their lives because of you. I’m busting my ass here yet again to save you from yourself, and you’re once again spitting in the face of my efforts.” My eye is twitching like crazy.
“I know, Winnie.” Her lower lip trembles. “I’ll date Fitz.”
“Great. Read his Wikipedia page.” I press my finger to my temple. “I’m going jogging.”
“Winnie is exercising!” my mom yells to my dad.
“Don’t overdo it, kiddo. You gotta work up slowly to that intensity.”
“I’m going to make a salad for dinner to celebrate.” Mom claps her hands.
“Sounds great, Mom. You want to microwave some fish while you’re at it?”
My dad is furiously chopping cabbage when I step out into the clammy, foggy Seattle night air.
My legs already hurt, and all I’ve done is walk down the sidewalk.
“This is good. This could be the start of turning over a new leaf,” I pep talk myself as I stretch and pull something in my stomach. “We’re saying yes to health.”
The motivational speech carries me as far as the corner.
I’m beat.
I’m dying.
“I’m not going to make it home,” I say through a gasp.
I seriously consider calling my dad to come drive and get me from the corner.
Come on, Winnie, let’s make it to the trail at least.
All I can think about as I trudge, sweating, up the hill to the Redwood Trailhead is all those pastries that I gave Fitz.
“I could use a pizza roll right now. The sausage one with the caramelized onions and mushroom with that hint of basil and the gorgonzola.” I lean over the back of the exercise equipment, gasping for breath.
“I’m not going to make it back.”
My phone beeps. The perfect excuse to stop.
Carolina:Kathy says you are JOGGING????
Carolina:WTF
Carolina:This is a massive cry for help.
