“I can’t.” I decide to come clean. “God help me, but Fitz is the stalker.”
Carolina’s eyes almost pop out of her head.
“Fitz is the—Fitzwas threatening you? He’s the one who’s been breaking and entering?”
“No, that was my other stalker.”
“Your other—”
“You know, I really thought you’d be happy for me.”
“Happy? You’re, like, having a midlife crisis or something,” she hisses. “Next you’re going to tell me you’re thinking about getting back together with Knox.”
“Shh!” I clap my hand over her mouth. Kathy is happily serving customers at the front. “Kathy cannot know about that, okay?”
“You two could bond over your terrible taste in men.”
“It’s just two men. Fitz and the stalker are the same person.” I press two fingers together.
“Do you knowthat, though?”
“Yeah.”
“But like, do youknowthat?” Carolina presses. “He’s been lying to you.”
“Well, now he’s telling the truth. He’s even babysitting Fidget all day. He texted me and said he’s taking her to visit his goat farm.”
“What about the other stalker on the loose?”
“He’s going to take care of it.”
“So that’s it? That’s your plan in life? You’re going to let your billionaire stalker boyfriend take care of this other alleged stalker?” Carolina shakes her head. “You’ve been hanging around Loony Laura too much.”
“This means he is actually the perfect guy for me, right?”
“He certainly has made you the center of his fucked-up little universe.”
“You were always telling me to get a boyfriend.”
“A mildly sane one.”
“Well, now I at least have a date to the wedding.”
“Well, I mean, that is the perk of a significant other.”
“He has brothers.”
Carolina is intrigued. “Oh, does he?”
True to his word—sono, he’s not a liar—Fitz has given the Pittsburgh troll football tickets.
“I just think he’s wasted on you.” Shelby sniffs as Brinley flits anxiously around her, both of them wearing brand-new Seattle jerseys that Fitz sent over with the tickets. “A man like that wants a woman who’s demure, who is his silent supporter, who knows her place.”
“No, a man like that wants a woman who’s not a gold digger and who can do more than smile and giggle when he talks about his business,” Gran interjects. “And I guess aman doesn’t want you, Shelby, since you don’t understand that your place is outside in the doghouse.”
“Winnie, maybe you do need to be a little nicer to him,” Mom tuts. “You’re not even going to go see him tonight.”
“I have a lot to do,” I tell my mom. “It’s the end of the month. I need to do accounting.”
