As he attempts to catch up, he yells, “That wasn’t flirting, that was wondering if you wanted a proper education!”
“Morning,” Theo says from where he’s lying across the sidewalk, looking like he spent all night there with his legs splayed out and his arms wide.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying not to let death take me.”
“Are you sick?” I take a step back.
“Yeah, sick and tired of these rules you enforce.” He sits up on his elbows. “The only time I’ve had with you in the last week has been these walks. What happened to my visitation rights?”
“You aren’t taking advantage of them.”
“You aren’t responding to my text messages, so how the hell do I know when and where?”
“You could look around?”
“How is that efficient?”
“It’s not,” I say as I start walking.
He hoists his body up with a groan and chases after me. “Can’t you help a guy out?”
“You know what I’ve been doing the last few days.”
“Uh, no, I don’t. Sure, you’ve been doing the floors at the store, but I went by there around noon yesterday and you weren’t there. I know you do a bunch of odd jobs, which, by the way, you were supposed to teach me to do—it’s written in the rules, and you have yet to teach me anything other than how to annoy you.”
“You don’t annoy me,” I say absentmindedly.
“I don’t?” he asks, looking like a puppy who was just awarded a treat.
“No, you’re just…you’re medium.”
He blusters, “Gossy, nothing about me is medium.”
“Oh my God,” I say with a scoff, causing him to laugh.
“Just saying it like it is. Don’t want you to be misguided.”
“And this is why I don’t say anything nice about you.”
“Saying I’m medium, that’s what you’re calling nice?”
I nod. “Yup.”
“Tough critic. I’ll take it though. Maybe you can make me a certificate that I can laminate and wear around my neck that says I’m medium.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I will not take part in your extra personality.”
“Tough and harsh. I mean, there must be people like you in the world so we’re not all living in the clouds, correct?”
“Would you say you live in the clouds?”
“I’d say I live more in the clouds than on the ground. What about you?”
