When I don’t hear him, I knock again.
Then one more time.
When there is no response, I open the door only to find one of our housemaids quickly move away from the bed while adjusting her top.
My expressions morphs into anger as she quickly flees and my father adjusts the blankets around him.
That.
That right there is what gives me the extra bit of strength to face him, because that is not going to be me. I’m not going to live this mundane, numb life where I’m going to have to cheat on my wife to find some sort of spark.
Absolutely not.
“I didn’t say you could come in,” my father says.
“Didn’t think I would be interrupting an affair,” I reply, my father’s eyes narrowing.
“Watch your mouth.” He tilts his chin up. “When you’re married to Walinda, you’re going to have to find ways to sneak around as well, so don’t lay your judgment on me.”
“No, I’ll keep my judgment because I have no intention of marrying Walinda.”
His brow lifts as he plucks a cigar from the box on his nightstand. “Is that so? And how do you think you’re going to claim the lord title without marrying?”
“That’s the thing,” I say, my strength and courage snowballing together, creating a wave of defiance within me. Rupert is right—I don’t want this life. I don’t want anything to do with it. I want to be in Cape Meril with Renley. I want late nights in the pond, early-morning walks, renovating projects, and endless smiles. I want to see Kitty in the front yard, galloping away, trying to impress in her blue kayak. I want judgy, villain-like townspeople that I can tell off, and ooey-gooey chocolate chip cookies. That’s where my heart is—it’s where my heart belongs. “I don’t want the title. I don’t want this life, and I refuse to settle for something that you’ve laid out for me.”
He pauses his lighter on the way to his cigar and then pops it out of his mouth. “Care to repeat that?”
“I don’t want anything to do with this life you’ve orchestrated for me. I don’t want to live a false, unsatisfying life where people are nice to me just because of my last name, where I have to sneak around behind my wife’s back to make myself feel like a man, and I sure as hell don’t want to be like you. You can take your title and offer it to someone else, because it won’t be me.”
“Theodore,” he says with a growl. “That is not an option for you.”
“But it very much is an option for me. I know the rules when it comes to the title. You hand it to the next available kin. That would be Elizabeth, but since you’re so against that, it’s going to go to one of your brother’s kids. Just because I’m the firstborn doesn’t mean it’s a requirement that I shackle myself to a life you’ve created.”
“You will lose everything,” he says, the threats now surfacing. The threats that I knew were coming. “You will no longer have a place to live, a family to come home to, a spot in this society. You will be banished, the title, the money, all gone. You will have nothing but your pathetic dreams of what you think life should be.”
I wet my lips and say, “Sounds so much more fulfilling than what you have—an empty marriage, cold walls to live within, and an endless bank account that can’t buy you one ounce of class.” I stick my hands in my pockets and say, “I’m good. Take care. Hope to talk to you never.”
And with that, I leave my father’s bedroom while the heavy weight that’s been resting on my chest for years finally snaps and falls in my wake, allowing me to finally be free.
Chapter Fifty-One
THEO
“Still no response?” Rupert asks as our Uber pulls into Cape Meril.
I shake my head as I stare down at my screen, hoping that her silence doesn’t mean she’s distancing herself from me, although it’s hard for my head to not go there.
“Nothing.” I let out a deep sigh, the lack of sleep already eating away at me. “Fuck, what if?—”
“Don’t.” Rupert shakes his head. “Do not start with the ‘what ifs’; they will do nothing for you other than wear you down.”
I nod because he’s right. They do nothing to help.
We pull onto our street, our house still ours since we rented it for the whole summer, and our Uber driver drops us off. We pull our large pieces of luggage, more than when we first arrived, up to the porch. Elizabeth and Hannah promised they would empty out the cottage for me and pack up my things before Father could destroy them. I took what I could, my clothes and what mattered the most to me, with the hope that I can figure out a way to stay here…for good.
“Theo?” I hear a voice say as I’m about to open the door. I turn to find Tilly on the lawn, headphones around her neck, looking fresh from a run. “You’re back.”
“Hey, yeah, just got here.” I move down the porch. “How’s it going?”
