Rupert waves her off, eyes trained on me, blinking in shock. “Sure, okay, bye.”
From the corner of my eye, I see Sarah give him the middle finger, and then she takes off. Don’t foresee a second night happening for him.
When the door shuts, Rupert asks, “Why the fuck would you say that?”
I take off my hat and push my hand through my hair. “Because he said I never see anything through and that I’m a screwup, and I wanted to, I don’t know…show him that I’m not.”
“By taking a bride? Mate, that’s not the way to do it.”
“I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Uh, tell him that it was a mistake, or that someone must have impersonated you and you know nothing about it.”
“That—” I pause, thinking about it for a second. “Fuck, I should have said that.”
Fuck, I’m such a dumbass!
“Yeah, because then he could have released a statement that it’s not you who made the account, have the company take it down, and then there we are, smoking your dad’s cigars, getting off scot-free. Honestly, surprised you didn’t think of that yourself.”
Yeah, me too.
“Fuck,” I groan as I sink into the couch.
“But, you know, saying you’re looking for a bride, that works too.”
“How the fuck does that work?”
Rupert shrugs. “Can’t be sure, just trying to make you feel better.”
“That’s not making me feel better. This is such a fucking disaster.”
“Maybe not,” he says, hope in his voice. “Maybe you dance around a bit, pretend you’re looking for a bride, but then come up short and say you’re going to try the regular method of meeting someone by chance.”
I shake my head, hating my life decisions. “Can’t. Told my father I’d be engaged by the end of summer.”
“What?” Rupert shouts. “Why the hell would you say that?”
“Because he cornered me with that ‘irresponsible, never finishing anything’ bullshit of a tirade he likes to go on and I don’t know, I think I was still drunk when I started talking and, well, here I am, needing to find a bride by the end of the summer.”
“And what if you don’t? You don’t get the lord title anymore? Mate, you didn’t want that in the first place.”
“It will be a cold day in hell when he doesn’t pass that down to me; he has made it his mission to make sure I walk in hisfootsteps. No, that’s not it. He threatened to find a bride for me since I’m so willing and ready to get married.” I look Rupert dead in the eyes and say, “He said he’d ask Neil’s daughter.”
Rupert’s eyes widen as he whispers, “No.”
I nod. “Yes.”
Panic erupts on his face as he slowly shakes his head. “We can’t have that. Because if you marry her, then I won’t ever be able to see you again. I can’t hang out with you if she’s around, and as we know, she’s a clinger. She won’t leave you alone.” He gasps loudly and clutches my arm. “Mate, she’ll break your dick.”
My brow creases. “Why do you say that?”
“Because she’s broken at least three from what I’ve heard. Guys haven’t been able to get erect after being with her.”
“That’s not true.”
“Oh, it’s true.”
“Who broke their dicks?” I challenge.
