“In a lot of the pubs back home, they have these loos that look like holes in the wall. From the outside, you’re scared you might be eaten by a toilet snake, but when you go inside, the walls are coated in a unique wallpaper, the sinks are porcelain with gold pipes attached to the wall, and there is always something odd and different about the toilet.”
“Really?”
“Well, I might have made that last part up, but the first two are correct.”
“Interesting. I really like the idea of making it a place where people can take pictures, because I know that’s a big thing in today’s culture: bathroom selfies.”
“Unfortunately, you’re correct. Personally, I like to keep the sanctity of the toilets a private thing, but you know how the youth like to mess around with our holy grails.”
“Okay, Grandpa.”
“Not a grandpa, just mature enough to recognize that taking a picture in a bathroom violates privacy on a whole other level.”
“Not if it’s just a single bathroom.”
“True.” I look her up and down. “Do you take bathroom selfies?”
“Do I look like someone who takes bathroom selfies?”
“Is there a certain look for that?”
She shakes her head. “I don’t.”
“Rupert has been known to take them, but mainly in the gym when he’s showing off what little progress he’s made on his triceps.”
She chuckles. “Does he know how you feel about his triceps?”
“Yes, I’m the reason he’s training harder.”
“Theo.” She presses her hand to her chest. “Are you body shaming your butler?”
“He’s body shaming himself. He caught sight of my triceps and got jealous.” I shrug. “I’m not about to hide my superiority so that he can shine. If he wants the same definition, then he needs to rise to the occasion.”
“Why did that feel like something a Peloton instructor would say? Also, lucky Rupert.”
“He’s very lucky, although…” I lean in closer and say, “What’s going on with him and your aunt? Is there something there? I see them exchange glances all the time.”
Renley shakes her head and then crosses one leg over the other. “I have no idea, but I heard him saying he was going to help her with her training since he knows a lot about horses.”
“He knows nothing. I know everything.” I pause and then say, “Jesus Christ, is that why he’s been asking me all those horse questions lately? He said he was watching some videos on YouTube and some things didn’t make sense.”
“I bet you that’s exactly what he was doing.”
“My butler is running wild. I need to rein him back in.”
“Yeah, before he starts hitting on my aunt.”
“You don’t think he has already?” I ask.
Renley winces. “Please don’t tell me that’s the truth. I couldn’t handle it.”
“Does she not deserve some romantic attention?” I take a sip of my wine.
“She could be Rupert’s mom.”
“Don’t hate on an age gap,” I say. “For all we know, this non-marriage could be an age gap.” I motion between the two of us.
“This is not a non-marriage. This is nothing. This is just one person dealing with another to get some free short rib.”
