“Eww, stinky.”
How dare she.
“Shut the fuck up, they’re not stinky. I use deodorizers.”
She laughs. “My goodness, we are quite defensive, aren’t we?”
“If there is one thing I know I’m good at, it’s proper hygiene. I know how to clean all the crevices, I use creams, and I’m sure to never leave a bathroom without fully washing my hands. You’re welcome.”
“Have you been complimented on your hygiene? Because you can say you have good hygiene but that could be your opinion. Others’ opinions could differ.”
I hold up three fingers and say, “Not to brag, but on three separate occasions, three different women have said I have thecleanest undercarriage they’ve ever come across. If you want full access to confirm, I have no problem shedding my shorts and bending over for you to judge for yourself.”
“Dear God, what is wrong with you?”
“You brought it up.”
“Well, you didn’t have to go and say that.”
“Soo…I’m going to take that as a no on the undercarriage examination.”
“That’s a fuck no.” She chuckles and then, without a second thought, snips the tassel off my first shoe.
Jesus.
Just like that.
No regret, no “Are you sure?” Nothing.
Those shoes just lost their value. Maybe this was naive of me, but I didn’t think she’d go through with it.
“Here you go. Let me see the other one.”
Guess we have to make them a bald pair. I hand her the other shoe and she snips off the tassel, then hands it back to me along with the scissors and takes a sip of her water.
Sinister.
“Can you hand me the tassels?” I ask.
“Why?”
“So I can fashion them as covers for Rupert’s nips. It’s a whole thing; he likes a good tassel dance.”
“Really?” she asks, handing me the tassels.
I wiggle my brows. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“You know, I wouldn’t put it past him. If he came out of the house and started hopping around the yard like a bunny with tassels on his nipples, I don’t think I’d even blink twice. I’d just nod my head and say, ‘Looks about right.’”
“I think he’d take that as a compliment.”
“You two are so weird.”
“True.” She’s not wrong. Finding a friend that I can still do stupid shit with at this stage in our lives is rare. All throughout our years of friendship, I’ve never felt judged by Rupert, so it’s always been easy to simply be myself.Well, the irresponsible self that the world never sees.And yet, I’ve shown more of that version of Theodore to Renley than to others.Interesting.I pick up the wine list and move it between the both of us. “Care to share a bottle with me?” I meet her eyes with mine. “It’s not homemade so will probably be gentler on the stomach.”
“I think a red would pair nicely with my short rib.”
“Sounds great. Do you trust me to pick one?”
