Caelian’s breath hitched, her pulse skittering wildly at the thought of Kjeld helping her bathe. Granted, she could very well wash her body on her own, but there was a lingering soreness in her muscles and a deep ache in her heart. In truth, it would likely be difficult to wash her hair for no other reason than the fact that every inch of her still felt raw, and fresh, and tender. But she could manage. If she wanted…
Or she could say yes.
She could tell Kjeld she wanted his help.
But he was standing there, practically vibrating with tension, his gaze locked on the scuffed toes of his boots. It was as though he couldn’t even stand to look at her. She didn’t understand how he appeared so concerned for her well-being one minute, then acted as though he’d rather be anywhere else the next. Like sharing the same space as her, the same air as her, was somehow the worst thing imaginable. He may say one thing with his words, but his body language told a different story.
Caelian lifted her chin, pride strengthening her voice. “No, thank you.”
Her tone was clipped and Kjeld’s gaze snapped to hers.
A line of concern crinkled across his brow. “Are you certain?”
“Of course.” She waved one hand flippantly through the air. “Now, if you’d excuse me. I’d like some privacy, please.”
He ducked his head, scrubbing a palm over the back of his neck. “Aye. I’ll just…I’ll be in the other room if you need me.”
Caelian said nothing as he passed her and rounded the corner to the other side of the cabin. She waited until she heard the groan and creak of the bed settle beneath his weight, then she allowed the sheet to drop. Tiptoeing across the hardwood floor to the tub, she peered over the edge and dipped her hand into the milky bathwater to check the temperature. It was wonderfully hot, moving like silk between her fingers. The most pleasant of sighs escaped her and she carefully stepped into the copper tub.
The rush of heat instantly flushed her skin and soothed her bones, but a quick glance down reminded her that she needed to remove the bandages around her stomach and thigh.
Tugging lightly on the fabric, she gradually unbound the strip of cloth protecting her upper leg. Once it was completely unraveled, the air held tight in her lungs. For the most part, her skin was fully healed, but there was a pale pink scar curving along the inside of her thigh. It wasn’t hideous, but her onceperfect skin was now flawed. She didn’t even want to know what her stomach looked like in comparison.
Pulling in a settling breath, she started to unwind the larger bandage wrapped around her midsection. Layer by layer, she undid the thick white cloth, grimacing with each section. She wadded up the fabric and tossed it on the ground, then gently cupped her breasts, squishing them to her so she could inspect the damage on her abdomen.
Her nose tingled and the burning sensation of tears filled her eyes.
She was hideous.
Her skin was marred and angry as though she’d been mauled by a horrific beast. The wounds were closed and healed, but the marks left behind were unsightly. Jagged lines ripped from her belly button all the way to her right hip in a series of brutal scars. The flesh there was puckered and crimped. The scar on her thigh was manageable, the ones ruining her stomach were reprehensible. No male would ever want her now. Not once they learned she was blemished.
Ariesian would never be able to marry her off—she would become a burden to him, a forever wallflower left to wilt in the corner of every ballroom. It was one thing to be without magic, because Ariesian had assured her it would return in time, but perhaps not until the Midsummer after next. And she could wait. Shewouldwait. Because her magic was precious to her. She’d told herself it would be fine, she could survive skipping a season of looking for a mate because at least she was pretty, and certainly that had to count for something.
Yet even that had been taken from her.
Worse, she’d maintained her virtue, for no other reason than the fact that she hadn’t found a male worthy of it. Or her, for that matter. But now, even if she did find someone to bed her, she had no doubt they’d be repulsed by her naked form. No onewould ever love her. Not like this. Not without the purity of her magic and a mangled, disfigured body. She would die alone. A virgin. A blight upon her family’s good name.
Her bottom lip trembled.
Her shoulders spasmed and shook.
A broken, choking sob splintered open her heart, and Caelian burst into tears. Covering her face with her hands, she caved, sinking beneath the crushing weight of expectation and disappointment.
“Caelian!” Kjeld’s voice rumbled through her veins.
The thunder of footsteps echoed in her ears, but she didn’t hear anything until a pair of strong hands captured her wrists, yanking her hands from her face.
“Talk to me,” he demanded, his expression earnest, his bright blue eyes shadowed with worry. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Tell me where it hurts.”
“Look at me.” She blinked up at him through her watery gaze. “I’m hideous. No one will want me now.”
A muscle feathered along his jaw and his brow furrowed. “That’s not true.”
Another gasping sob shattered her, and his grip on her wrists tightened.
“How do you know?” Caelian cried, hot tears sliding down her cheeks.
Kjeld’s calloused thumb grazed the smooth inside of her palm. “BecauseIwant you.”
