“Shayla.”
She looked up and smiled but it was that fake smile I recognized because I used to wear the same one. It’s the one that doesn’t reach your eyes but says, “ I’m fine” when nothing about your life is fine.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I’m fine.” Her voice cracked on the second word and her eyes filled up and the smile collapsed and she shook her head. “I’m fine, Mehar. Really.”
“You don’t have to befinewith me.”
She wiped her eyes fast and looked around to make sure nobody else was watching. “It’s not what you think.”
“I’m not thinking anything. I’m just telling you that when you’re ready to leave him, let me know and I’ll help. No judgment, no pressure, no timeline. Just whenever you’re ready. But you should get ready soon. Because it only gets worse from here.”
She looked at me for a long time. Shayla was twenty-three, sweet, quiet, the type of girl who stayed after class to help Mrs. Pak clean up because she genuinely liked it. She had dreams of starting her own skincare line specifically for Black girls dealing with acne because she’d struggled with it her whole life and hated that every product on the shelf didn’t fully address hyperpigmentation. She was smart and kind and talented and she was going home to a man who put bruises on her wrists and made her practice concealer application for reasons that had nothing to do with beauty school.
“Thank you,” she said quietly.
“I mean it, Shayla. Whenever you’re ready. You got my number.”
She nodded and I squeezed her hand and left it there because pushing too hard pushes people back into the arms of the person hurting them. I learned that the hard way. You have to let them come to you on their own clock even when every cell in your body is screaming at you to drag them out the door.
I walked to the parking lot and got in the new SUV Quest had replaced the old one with. New driver too. Luke. He was older than Davis, quieter, ex-military. I missed Davis every time I gotin this truck but I couldn’t think about that right now without falling apart.
I sent Quest a text asking how he was feeling. Just a few days ago he had gotten the vasectomy reversal. I knew he said he would but I couldn’t believe he was taking these steps to have a baby with me. From the day I got to know him through Prime and Zainab it was clear that he was not about that having a family life.
But he wanted it with me. And after everything I’d been through, I wanted it with him. I thought I would spend my days punishing men in my dungeon. That I would just be single and living it up alone. He came along and showed me that I could have something different. True love. He had opened me up in ways that I never thought imaginable. And I knew I did the same for him. I couldn’t wait to get married and have his babies. A sentence I thought I’d never say.
Quest: I’m good. Just getting some work done from home. I checked out the list of places you like. We can go see them this weekend.
Me: I can’t wait.
I had Luke take me to Bryce’s apartment off of Georgia Ave. I hadn’t seen my brother in a couple of weeks and Samaya was due any day now and I wanted to check on them and drop off the money I’d been putting together from my savings and the cash Quest gave me without me asking for it.
Bryce opened the door with a Glock tucked in his waistband and his eyes scanning the hallway behind me before he let me in. The apartment was small and tense. Samaya was on the couch looking like she was ready to pop any second, her feet up on a pillow and her face set in an expression that had nothing to do with the pregnancy and everything to do with the man standing in front of me.
“You still walking around with that gun?” I asked him.
“Until I know for sure Mekhi ain’t coming for me, yeah.”
“I told you, the truce is real. Quest handled it. Mekhi gave his word he’s leaving you alone.”
“Mekhi’s word don’t mean shit to me. That nigga wanted to put a bullet in my head three weeks ago.”
“His word,” Samaya said from the couch without looking up, “don’t mean shit to nobody. Just like yours don’t mean shit when you told me you were gonna get a real job and take care of this baby.”
The room got tight. Bryce’s jaw clenched and he looked at the floor and I could see the weight pressing down on him. This wasn’t just about Mekhi or safety. This was a young man with no income, no crew, a baby coming, and a girlfriend who was losing patience with him by the hour.
“I’m working on it, Samaya.”
“Working on it how? You sit in this apartment all day with a gun in your pants watching the door. That ain’t working on it. That’s hiding. I need a man who provides, Bryce. I need someone who goes to work and comes home and handles his business. Not someone who’s scared of his own shadow.”
“I ain’t scared of nothing.”
“Then why you won’t go outside? Why don’t you get Mekhi before he gets you!”
I stepped between them because this was about to go somewhere it didn’t need to go. “Samaya, he’s being cautious. There’s a difference.”
“There’s no difference when the rent is due and the fridge is empty.” She shifted on the couch and winced from the movement. “And my brother is in prison because of those Banks people and nobody’s doing anything about it. Keyvon is sitting in a cell and Bryce won’t even do anything about it.”
