What if she came with me and didn’t want to stay? I couldn’t send her back knowing that she could arrive hundreds of years in the past or future.
If she left with me, it would be permanent. There would be no coming back. And that was a decision not to be made lightly.
And if I waited, I would miss the return window and the future I had worked so hard to guarantee on the exile planet.
A future without my mate.
I sighed, looking down at Kitty, her face peaceful as she slept.
I knew she was my mate. There was no doubt in my mind. But what if humans didn’t feel the mate bond the way Gnaggarrians did? To find her and not claim her was painful, but to claim her and have her reject me? That would be horrendous. I wasn’t sure I would recover from that.
Like you won’t recover from leaving her behind?
I slid my arm out from underneath Kitty, being careful not to wake her, and slipped from the bed. I quickly dressed and padded on bare feet toward the kitchen. I paused in the doorway to the living room, my eyes roaming over the tree we had decorated together.
Maybe we could share our traditions? We could build a life together by blending my Gnaggarrian and Kitty’s human ways.
I shook my head, dragging my eyes away from the Christmas tree, and turning into the kitchen.
You know better than to hope.
I stared around the warm, inviting room, trying to commit everything to memory. This was where Kitty had shown me acceptance, in a way that I’d never known. I was a Gnaggarrian of almost the lowest rank possible, so to have a woman of her beauty and kindness show me any attention was unheard of. I had resigned myself long ago to spending my life alone, but now that I’d had a taste of what could be?
I shook my head.
I walked toward the door to the outside, hesitating with my hand on the handle. I turned to look back toward Kitty’s bedroom where she slept, undecided if I should leave without saying goodbye.
Undecided if I should leave at all.
But there was no life for me on this planet. Shoulders stiffening, I turned the handle and stepped out into the cool night air.
Darkness had fallen rapidly, and if the time on the clock in the kitchen was any indicator, I had only a little more than an hour until the transportal would open and take me back to Gnaggarrian space. I couldn’t miss that opening.
It would be better for Kitty that I leave now, while she was still asleep.
With every step of my bare feet in the snow, I fought the urge to turn back. But I didn’t. My feet crunched on the cold ground, but I hardly felt it as it matched the cold was spreading throughout me.
I retraced the route back to the transportal. It seemed to take much longer this time; my feet as heavy as my heart. When I reached the outer ring of stones, I paused, looking back toward the cottage. It was obscured from view now, hidden by trees.
Don’t be a fool, go back to her!
I almost turned around and went back, but I knew it wouldn’t be the right thing for her. How could she live a life on Earth with me, an alien to her species? A life in hiding was not a life I wanted to live. And what if I outlived her? What would I do then?
I would exchange one life with little freedom for another. As much as it pained me, I had to follow through with my plan.
I stepped onto the transportal and slowly approached the center stone. Lowering myself to the cold rock, I sat with my legs crossed, facing the direction of Kitty’s cottage. I closed my eyes and imagined her smiling face. I ran through everything that we had done together. All the interactions I’d had with her. Every word. Every touch. Every caress. Every kiss.
The cold that had spread through my body eased. These memories would have to keep me warm in the coming years, because without Kitty—without my mate—life would be… I didn’t want to think about it.
With my eyes closed, every sound was amplified. I could hear the slight breeze as it moved past the stones and whipped my hair around my face. In my rush, I had neglected to braid it, and it hung loose around my shoulders. I imagined I could hear a small animal dashing in the snow, its footsteps tiny little staccato notes in the evening’s silence.
My ears strained, and I imagined I could hear heavier footsteps approaching.
No, that wasn't my imagination. I opened my eyes to see a slight figure hobbling unevenly up the hill toward me.
I stood to my feet in disbelief, as Kitty emerged from thedarkness and stepped inside the circle of stones that in a ring around the transportal.
“Kitty! What are you doing here?” I asked, blinking rapidly in case I was imagining her.
