…is that it? Is that the whole plan?
THEO
What, you need more than that? I thought that was an A+ plan.
But if you’re gonna be needy…
ME
THEO
Ok, ok. I saw your Mom today feeding Stella and I might have asked if we could use the beach house for the weekend…interested?
That…was actually a great idea. I hadn’t been down to our Port Aransas vacation place in forever. I bit my lip thinking about having Theo all to myself with no interruptions, no football, no classes. Nothing but us in our own little world.
Things with Theo had been a lot better since our night at the carnival. He and I had scheduled therapist appointments a couple of days later, and from what Theo had told me, he was feeling good about it. It’d been three weeks since he had another “dark episode” as he called it. He still felt like he was wading through molasses some days and his schooling was harder to keep up with, but he was dealing with it.
I’d just had my third session this week and I’d been able to unload some of the abandonment and jealousy issues thatlingered. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Theo, but when wounds ran deep enough, they didn’t always heal as fast beneath the surface. The biggest issue I had yet to confront was that constant, nagging worry in my gut about Theo’s depression.
All that played on a loop in the back of my mind was what he’d told me the day I found out about his diagnosis—the plan he’d once had. The medication that was supposed to help had pushed him to the edge, made him think there was only one way to end his pain.
Theo told me repeatedly that this time was better and that he had a lot going for him that he didn’t have back then. He had his dad back, new friends who cared about and included him, and he had me. He said I couldn’t save him, but that wasn’t entirely true. I didn’t have the power to cure him and in some ways, I was helpless when it came to easing his struggles.
But I could, in some way, save him. I could help keep his heart beating by giving him something to fight for, by showing him how beautiful and worthy his life truly was…by loving him. I had loved him through every season of his life so far and would love him until the world stopped turning.
And I had to trust that would be enough.
ME
Let’s do it
Chapter 30
Dawson
“Damn, it looks bigger than I remember. Has it grown since the last time we were here?” Theo remarked as we pulled into the driveway of the two story, waterfront property.
“Yeah, I think my dad paid extra for that feature,” I replied sardonically. Theo flipped me the bird as I climbed out to unload our bags from the trunk. He’d argued that I didn’t need luggage because he planned to keep me naked all four days we were here. As enticing as that was, our stretch of beach wasn’t private and we had one neighbor next door, so he’d begrudgingly agreed to clothes.
It had been a long two weeks waiting for my bye week to arrive. The season was ramping up big time and I’d been exhausted both mentally and physically, leaving no real time to spend with Theo. Of course, he’d been understanding each time I came over only for me to pass out within an hour, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t starting to wear on me. I worried that it would eventually create a wedge between us, leaving Theo more vulnerable to the side effects of his medication.
But that’s what this getaway was for. Ever since Theo and I had started dating again, we hadn’t really had any time alone toreconnect, not without the stress of school or football or other people around. I wanted to explore every new facet there was to him, to fill in every gap that existed between us, to bare every fraction of our souls to one another. More than anything, I didn’t want to take this second chance for granted.
Especially notthisweekend.
I took our bags up to the master suite we’d be using while Theo put away the groceries we’d bought. Our housekeeper had set up the room so everything was ready for us. I headed back downstairs, but Theo wasn’t in the kitchen or living room.
I was about to search the rest of the house when I noticed him outside on the deck. Theo was leaning against the wooden railing, gazing out at the gentle waves that were tugging at the shore. The late morning sun cast a halo around his honey blond strands and when he glanced over his shoulder, the bright smile he flashed me sucked the air from my lungs.
“You gonna stand there all day or come kiss me, Mercury?”
My feet moved of their own accord, drawn in by the magnetic gleam in his eyes. I was powerless against it, inevitable as the tide being pulled in by the moon. I crowded him against the decking with my chest pressed to his back, bracketing him with my arms. I brushed my lips over his pulse point, feeling it jump under my attention.
“Not exactly what I had in mind,” he taunted breathlessly, yet he tilted his head to give me better access. I sucked a bruise into the skin and his throaty moan filled my dick so fast I grew lightheaded.
“God, I’ve missed you,” I rumbled, nuzzling him behind his ear and drawing the scent of him into my lungs. “Fuck, you always smell so good.”
“Huh. Guess that bathing thing really works.”
