My breath left me in a rush as relief flooded in. I grabbed his jaw and took his mouth in a hard kiss. He let out a soft groan that I swallowed down. I kissed him deeper, pouring my gratitude for his answer into the embrace.
We separated slowly and I took in Dawson’s dazed, glassy expression. He looked undone and needy, and I soaked it in. I’d never get enough of him.
“Let’s go to bed,” I purred. “No sex, just…let me hold you.”
Dawson bit his lip and bobbed his head, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. We slowly stripped, peeling away the layers as though it would strip us of the past. Strip away the pain until only love remained. We climbed into bed and Dawsongravitated into my arms, his back pressing to my front, our briefs the only barrier between us.
Nothing in the last few years ever felt as right as this. Nothing made me feel as strong as having this man love me. I silently vowed that I’d never do anything to lose this. I’d lock myself away before I let my illness consume me and cause him pain again.
“Do you think your friends would still like me if they knew?” I whispered under my breath. My scalp prickled with embarrassment at how pathetic I sounded, like a boy wanting kids on the playground to play with him.
Dawson wove his fingers through mine and coasted them up to rest over his sternum. He didn’t answer right away and in the space of those few seconds, a dozen intrusive images swamped me, overriding any kindness or act of acceptance I’d been shown tonight.
“My friends are no strangers to pain like yours,” he replied softly. “Most are fighting their own silent battles. Bash and Cal have been more open than others in the group, but we all support them however we’re able. The biggest is by being there and holding space for them on the hard days. Never turning away. That’s what you will get from them, Theo. They won’t turn away.”
I swallowed roughly, squeezing my eyes against the sting brought on by his promise. I couldn’t speak past the tightness in my throat, so I buried my face in his neck, the scent of his skin a heady mix of his earthy body wash and something uniquely Dawson. He smelled of summers in the woods and nights under the stars. Of memories and innocence and home.
Dawson’s breathing evened out, the rise and fall of his chest slowing down. The thump of his heartbeat under my hand played like my favorite lullaby and I clung to him as though he’d fade away with my dreams.
When morning came, I woke to him curled around my body, but it still felt like the best kind of dream.
Chapter 24
Theo
The commotion of the pre-game festivities could be heard before the stadium was even in sight. Parking in the city was a nightmare on a good day, so it was a hike to get there and sweat was cooling on my skin by the time we reached our destination.
Food trucks, parade floats, and people littered Bevo Boulevard, affectionately named for the one-ton steer that was the Longhorn’s mascot. That cow was practically Texas royalty and treated like it too. Tailgaters were scattered around the outskirts, with girls dancing on truck beds, guys chugging beer, and the smell of BBQ wafting from every grill in the Texasest of Texas traditions. Yee. Freakin. Haw.
Even with the high energy surrounding us, enjoyment eluded me. I floated in that foggy space between feeling indifferent and melancholy. It’d been a month and a half since I’d been back on the meds and though it wasn’t nearly as bad as the other times, I was starting to slip back into old patterns.
I’d been here before, where the anchor of my medication kept me from soaring too high, but sometimes weighed me down too heavily, sinking me into that oppressive abyss. But I wasdetermined not to give in, kicking to the surface to keep afloat. I’d be damned if I let my twisted brain ruin this for me.
It was a fight to push through the crowds to find the rest of the group, but we finally caught Aly and Fin flagging us down. Cal, Rhys, Kenji, and Nate were standing around in the little shade they could find.
“Heyyy, you made it!” Nate cheered around a mouthful of hot dog.
“Good grief…cover your mouth, barbarian,” Rhys chided. Nate just laughed it off with a wink, even as Rhys tried to cover his mouth with a napkin. If it weren’t for the fact that he’d replaced me as Dawson’s best friend and I was territorial as fuck, I’d probably really like the guy. As it was, I found him…tolerable.
“It took for-freaking-ever to park and walk over here. It’s insanity! I mean, we almost got trampled by some wasted guys from Delta Kappa Himbo or whatever pulling an actual rickshaw of girls behind them. Like what even is that? Plus my dumbass had to forget my Fitbit, so my steps don’t even count,” Micah ranted.
Bash wound an arm around Micah’s neck, yanking him close and planting a kiss on his temple. “Ignore him. He’s just hangry.”
“At least he isn’t threatening violence or to pull a fire alarm illegally,” I snorted. Fin blew me a kiss and waggled his brows mischievously.
“Uh oh, I know that face. What did Tiny Terror do now?” Griffin drawled as he strolled up with a pretty brunette tucked under his arm. Fin tensed up noticeably and he narrowed his eyes at the pair.
“Oh, Griffin. How not nice of you to join us,” Fin snarked. “And who is this lovely victim of yours?”
Aly sputtered and choked on the water she was sipping, failing to hide the laugh that bubbled up. Micah rolled his lipsas his eyes bugged out, looking between the men with rapt attention. Griffin scowled at Fin and his jaw clicked repeatedly as the girl with him flushed pink and huddled closer to him.
“She didn’t do anything to you, so why don’t you keep your comments aimed at me? Or better yet, keep them to yourself,” Griff sneered. Fin blanched, sadness clouding his features while he watched Griff pull his date over to a food truck without another glance his way.
For some reason, I was compelled to comfort him. Rude as he had been, I recognized his behavior for what it was. A mask, a shield for his silent battle. The group started towards the stadium, and I sidled up next to Fin who was dejectedly bringing up the rear.
I bent down to murmur in his ear. “We all screw up from time to time. He’ll forgive you.”
I saw Fin peer at Griffin up ahead as he whispered something in the girl’s ear that made her laugh out loud, and Fin seemed to fold in on himself even more.
