“So that crap you pulled in the alley? Was that your idea of “explaining” things to me? If so, you might want to work on your execution a bit because I’m still confused as fuck and?—”
“Jesus Christ, Dawson, it wasn’t like I planned for it to happen that way!” Theo snapped sharply. “I was there minding my own business on a damn date when you hopped up onstage and serenaded me with a fucking swan song in front of everyone.Excuse me if it messed with my head just a goddamn bit because I thought?—”
He broke off with a frustrated growl, dragging his long fingers through his mess of golden blond hair. I despised that my fingers flexed instinctively from the memory of it sifting through my hands. I crossed my arms to keep from doing something insane, like reaching for him and taming those wild locks myself.
“You thought what?” I croaked. “Thought I was over you and what you did to me?”
“No, I thought I damn well was!” he barked.
I caught his gaze and a sharp pain lanced through me at the anguish on his face. Of course he was over it…over me. He was the one who’d left and blocked all my attempts to contact him after Homecoming night.
But he wasn’t the one who didn’t say a word to another person for days on end, playing until his fingers bled on the guitar and tears soaked the piano keys. He wasn’t the one who’d dragged his sorry ass back to Neverland every night for two weeks with a juvenile belief that he’d come back for me and I’d somehow find him waiting there.
Then I’d come along with my asinine impromptu performance in the hopes that he’d, what? See what he left behind and realize he’d made a mistake throwing us away? If I was honest with myself, that’s exactly what I’d imagined. Yet he’d still warned me off him, he’d still told me to move on, and he’d still taken another man home while once again leaving behind the one he didn’t want.
“Then why did you kiss me?” I blurted quietly.
Theo looked away, his jaw ticking rapidly in a familiar show of his frustration. When he finally drew his gaze back up to mine, something like resignation settled across his features.
“We never got to say goodbye,” he said, so softly I almost hadn’t heard him.
Somehow that answer speared me deeper than anything else he could have said. The knowledge that he’d pitied me enough to give me the kiss-off made my heart desiccate in my chest.
“And whose fault was that?” I whispered hoarsely through the aching knot in my throat.
Theo’s eyes flamed and his nostrils flared. “You don’t fucking know what really happened that night, what I went through.”
“Because you didn’t tell me!”
“I told you Ididn’t have a choice. I didn’t choose to leave you.”
“You know what, that’s bullshit! What about the three months of my missed calls and texts? What about blocking my number? Are you saying you didn’t choose that?”
“It’s not as simple as you’re trying to make it!” he gritted through his teeth.
“That’s not a no, Theo. Did you or did you not choose to ignore my messages and cut me off after you left?”
His attention fixed on a point somewhere beyond my shoulder and it was answer enough for me. I was at the end of my patience, my nerves frayed and raw. It felt wrong for us to be shouting and hurling blame at each other, especially in this place.
This was where we’d met, where everything for us began. Our friendship grew here from innocent connections into a love that rooted in our bones and blood. I didn’t want to desecrate every beautiful memory we’d built there with our bitterness and pain.
I turned back toward the golf cart, wanting to get away before any more damage was dealt between us. I jumped on the seat and turned it on, glancing back at Theo to see him fiddling with my ring around his neck.
Something about seeing it there, watching him run his fingers over it as though it were special, like it actually meant something to him, made anger coil in my chest.
“Give it back,” I growled, jumping out of the cart and stalking towards him, my eyes dropping to the ring. His head reared back, hurt and shock splashed across his features as he realized what I meant. I glared at him until his chin dropped to his chest, shoulders slumping. As though reluctant to part with it, Theo slowly unlatched his silver chain and slid the ring from it, holding it out to me with trembling fingers.
I snatched it back, making him flinch. I shoved it into my pocket and tried to ignore the sting of regret from my action.
“Dawson?” Theo asked quietly.
I closed my eyes and blew out a harsh breath through my nostrils, trying to stay unaffected until I could escape. When he didn’t continue, I glanced up and the lost look on his face almost brought me to my knees.
He said nothing as he held my gaze, an uncomfortable pressure building up behind my ribs from the breath I had yet to release. The air hung heavy with so much left to say between us though we stayed silent.
His eyes pleaded with me to understand.
Mine begged him to let me go.
