Lily took in a deep breath and glanced at Natalia. Her best friend since they both lost their first tooth on the same day in kindergarten, Nat wouldn’t lie to her or steer her wrong.
“I just don’t want to need anyone. I never want to need someone again.”
“You don’t.” Nat grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles. “You’re doing you, and you’re doing it well. You’ve made a name for yourself on Hit It, and when you’re ready to share your story, it’s going to validate so many people who don’t even recognize what they’re going through right now.”
Yeah, right.Her story wasn’t empowering. It was just another reason for people to gawk and askWhy did you stay?
“I guess I could try casual dating.” She swiped at her tears—damn them for existing—and leaned into Natalia’s arms. “No boyfriends. Just dinner and…if it gets there, more.”
“It’s a good starting point.” Natalia brushed Lily’s hair back from her brow and planted a kiss on her forehead. “And in a few more months, you can always reevaluate what you want. You’re allowed to change your mind.”
“I’m allowed to change my mind.” It was still a foreign affirmation on her tongue, but it felt right. True, even.
“That’s my girl.” Nat coaxed her to her feet and swept her thumbs under Lily’s eyes, disposing of any evidence of running mascara. “Now come, let’s go downstairs and get dressed. I’m sure the boys have something delicious planned for lunch, right?”
At Ilya’s nod, Lily smiled and slipped her hand into Natalia’s. “Yes, please. And after, you can talk me through it. Dating, casual sex, the works.”
Natalia winked. “Now you’re speaking my language. A good hoe phase can fix anything.”
* * *
One blessed side effect of working at a gym was having dedicated time to work out. Sure, she spent her day in the gym, but she assumed all her time would be taken up with work. Turns out, when your job is socializing, work includes hanging out with the regulars and getting some reps in.
Before taking this job, she hadn’t been in a weight room since her senior year of undergrad, but the positioning of her hands on the weight bar was ingrained in her muscle memory. Sebastián was the biggest help. In between clients, he chatted with Lily—cheered her on and corrected her posture when needed. Despite her embarrassment at striking him, he’d laughed it off. There didn’t seem to be a vengeful or malicious bone in Sebastián’s body.
It was almost unnerving. She’d never known a man notto have ulterior motives, but Sebastián? He felt like someone she could trust.
His presence also offered an aura of comfort when she was in the gym. Despite the popularity of their videos, the majority of their clientele remained male. It would be easy to feel overwhelmed, but Sebastián and Kieran were never far.
Since Kieran’s viral moment, many of the gym bros sought out chances to be in Lily’s videos. If Kieran could get thirst comments, why not them?
“I’m sorry, Carter,” Lily said as she packed up her equipment on a Friday evening. “I’m five minutes from clocking out. Maybe we can shoot something on Monday.”
The sandy-haired fighter frowned and rocked back on his heels. His bright gaze jumped between Lily and the hallway holding the Octagon room. “Come on, it’s not a big deal if I’m late to training. Let’s spar.” He grinned and held up his wrapped hands. “Or I could wrap you up.” He took her hand in his and stroked his fingertips along her wrist. “Do a zoom in on our hands, really show off that intimacy.”
Electricity shot up her arm, and Lily shuddered before retracting her hand and busying herself with her bag. “I’ll think about it. We can always talk ideas next time I see you.”
“What about tomorrow?” Carter stepped closer and took the ring light from Lily’s hands, slipping it into the carrying case. “I could pick you up. Take you to dinner. We couldtalk.”
Lily didn’t miss the way his voice dropped and dipped with innuendo on the final suggestion. Carter stepped closer, flooding her space, and blood rushed in Lily’s ears.
“What do you say?”
Tingles shot up Lily’s spine, and she shifted from foot to foot.Nowas the easy answer. It felt like the right answer. The safe answer. But Natalia’s voice whispered in her ear.Get under someone else.It wasn’t her go-to coping mechanism, but hertherapist said as long as she was comfortable there was nothing wrong with casual sex.
Lily stepped back and looked Carter up and down. He was cute. Handsome, even. He had big, baby blue eyes and dimples. He was also ripped. As a member of the men’s MMA team, he had to be.
Her hands closed into fists at her sides. Ripped meant dangerous. “Sure.” She forced out the agreement before her fear rose up and begged her to run. “Dinner sounds great.”
“Awesome. Here.” He grabbed her phone from her bag and called himself, hanging up once his cell rang. “This way we can finalize our plans.”
“Carter!”
Kieran’s harsh bark made them both jump, and Lily snatched back her phone.
“You’re late.” Kieran crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his jaw, tilting it toward the hall. “Go warm up.”
“Yeah. One sec, Coach.” He took Lily’s hand and raised her knuckles to his lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Princess.”
