He looks at me, frustrated. “Lina, you don’t have to go through this alone. We can figure something out, find a way to protect you. You could tell those asshats you’re working with, for starters. Aren’t they there to handle shit like this?”
“You know why I can’t do that,” I reply softly.
“Chiara,” he says, letting his head fall back to the headboard.
“Chiara.” I nod.
“You said some of them were okay. Can’t you ask them for advice? Maybe there’s a way out, and we just don’t know it?” he asks.
“No, the risk is too high that they might take matters into their own hands and do something stupid,” I say, thinking about how Josh would likely react if he knew about Roberto’s abuse and how he might try to do something to protect me without thinking about Chiara.
“Why did you get all blushy?” Howie asks, studying my face. “Don’t tell me you have a thing for a cop?” I bite my lip. Howie looks at me for a moment before laughing softly. “Stupid, stupid kid.”
“I know, but he’s just… I don’t know. He sees me, Howie. It’s the first time someone has seen me behind all the walls I put up. The first time someone has bothered to look closer,” I say.
“That’s not true. A lot of people see how special you are. You’re the one not looking closely enough to see how many people you touch with your kindness,” Howie states.
“I’m a bitch to people most of the time.” I huff.
“Not when it counts,” he insists.
I hesitate before telling him, “He asked me on a date, and I said yes. It’s tomorrow. I’m just so afraid of fucking this up with him.”
Howie smiles at me reassuringly. “Do you want to know what I learned with my Mary?” I nod. “If it’s meant to be, you can’t mess it up. And if it’s not meant to be, you can’t fix it.” I furrow my brows, pondering his words. “Just be yourself, let that boy in, and show him the real you. Give it a chance. Don’t sabotage yourself. If it doesn’t work out, it just wasn’t meant to be. You’ve endured much worse. But if it is…” he smiles up at the ceiling, “… if it is meant to be, it’s worth every try and every leap you have to take.”
THIRTY-ONE
“That looks so cute, Joshy.”Sophia beams at me. “There’s no way for her not to be in love with you after that.”
I rub the back of my neck. “You think she’ll like it?”
“It’s still kitten we’re talking about. Does she even like stuff?” Clay teases, and I elbow him in the ribs.
“Ouch. Okay, okay, she’ll definitely not hate it, and that must be good enough,” he laughs, rubbing his side.
Sophia has sent Carolina on a little scavenger hunt to gather some things they don’t need so we can set up everything in the office area of the lab. We pushed the desks to the back of the room and arranged a small folding table with two chairs. Then, I added a tablecloth to make it look nicer.
I placed a bowl of chocolate fondue in the middle of the table, the chocolate kept warm and fluid by a candle beneath it. Around the bowl are strawberries, bananas, and marshmallows to dip into the chocolate. On another corner of the table, I placed a cooler with ice cubes to keep the alcohol-free sweet sparkling wine I bought nice and cold.
As soft music plays in the background, I know I did the best I could with the circumstances. We only have the time we usuallyhave to eat something in the cafeteria before we both have to work again. But I’m determined to make the most of it.
“Let’s go, she’s going to come back any minute now,” Sophia tells Clay, ushering him out of the lab.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.” Clay winks at me.
I stand there, my nerves getting the best of me as I wait for her. My pulse is racing. I want this to work out so badly. No, Ineedit to work out. I can’t stop thinking about her. The last time I felt so infatuated was back in high school, but that was just a silly crush. This time, with her, there’s something more.
She has the potential to be my everything.
The door opens, and in walks Carolina, looking absolutely stunning. She’s focused on the stuff she’s carrying, but her hair is styled in soft waves, and she’s wearing a bit more makeup than usual. Her lips are a pretty dark red shade that I’d love to kiss. She’s wearing her usual black clothes, but the buttons on her shirt are open just enough to show a bit of cleavage.
“You were right, Mr. Donovan is a total jerk,” she comments, only looking up when I laugh. She seems to be searching for Sophia, but then her eyes land on the table I set up.
“Wow,” she says as she puts everything on the lab bench and walks over to me.
“Hey,” I smile at her, and when she’s close enough, I take her hand and pull her in to give her a hug. She twitches lightly. “I’m so happy you could make it to our first date,” I say into her hair, which smells like apples.
“Of course, I made sure I was on time. I wasn’t just stumbling into it,” she jokes.
