“I am smart. I just do stupid shit,” I mumble, pulling my shoulders to my ears in the form of a defeated shrug.
“Honestly, love, I want to drape you over my lap and spank your perfect ass raw for that stupid-ass behavior. Next time, for the love of God, wake me up when you have such an amazing idea. At least then I could watch you continue to set our life on fire.”
I deserve the only half-joking teasing, but just as I am about to apologize to him once more, Josh and Carolina come into the living room, hand in hand.
“And? Are you guys okay? Could you talk it out?” I ask, unable to hold back.
Joshua smiles, kissing her temple. “More than okay.”
“Okay, that’s good,” I mutter, my stomach falls with disappointment.
I am really happy that I did not ruin their relationship, but losing her hurts. I squeeze Xander’s hand to keep myself from crying.
“Carolina, tell our boy that he hasn’t lost you. I can’t take this anymore,” Xander tells her.
She looks up at Joshua, who then leans down to gently peck her lips. “Always,” he reassures her, his words carrying a promise that soothes the tension in the room.
She makes her way over to me and pushes my shoulders back, and I sit straight on the couch, anticipation coursing through me. My free hand instinctively grabs her waist when she moves to straddle my lap. Hope flares inside me as she takes my face in both hands, locking her gaze with mine.
In a soft whisper, she admits, “I am in love with a fucking idiot,” before leaning in to kiss me. The butterflies in my stomach erupt in a flutter of excitement and relief.
Xander lets go of my hand, so I take her face in my hands too. We break the kiss, and I can’t help but chuckle, pure joy coursing through me after the agony I felt just minutes ago.
Leaning my forehead against hers, I whisper, “I love you too, my little ray of pitch black,” bringing her lips back to mine.
Something clicksinto place when I see them kissing. I can nearly feel the anxiety falling away from Clay—everything he has carried around with him for the past few weeks.
Everything that weighed heavily on me, too, since his struggles are mine.
I have to agree with Carolina. He is a fucking idiot, but he isourfucking idiot. I know he would never hurt me on purpose. He is not like that. He just doesn’t think too much before he acts. He is impulsive, and I love that about him. I would just have loved a warning beforehand this time.
I was well aware that it was going to happen, that they would have sex without me present. Clay is right. She is not part of this agreement. There is no agreement anymore. There is her, and there is him. I will not touch anybody else ever again.
Maybe some of the hurt comes from being jealous about how far their relationship has already developed while I am still firmly in the friend zone with her. I told him I wanted to start this slow, to enjoy the tension. But what if…
…what if she doesn’t feel the same and just wants to be with Clay and Josh?
I gaze over to Carolina and Clay, and I can’t help but smile. I look up at Josh, seeing him smile at them too.
A feeling of rightness settles in, and I know we will be okay.
This is going to work out, and it will be the best thing that ever happened to us. Sheis the best thing that ever happened to all of us.
They break the kiss, and Clay pulls her to him, hugging her tightly. He turns his head to me, insecurity in his eyes, but I smile at him, reaching out to squeeze his knee, and the worry evaporates from his face.
“I am going to get ready for work,” I declare, standing.
Carolina turns her head to look at me, quickly giving Clay a peck on the lips as she stands as well. “How much time do I have?”
“You can skip today. I bet you haven’t slept much,” I tell her.
“I am coming. Ten minutes, okay?” she asks, pecking Josh on the lips before she leaves our side of the house to get ready.
Clay stands and squeezes my shoulder. “You’ll get your goodbye kiss soon too, babe,” he tries to reassure me.
I grab his neck and pull him to me. “Oh, don’t be so smug now, brat. Five minutes ago, you were thinking the world was going to end.”
“That was five minutes ago,” he retorts, his eyes sparkling with joy. “And she told me she loves me.” He beams up at me, his happiness contagious and impossible to resist.
