Josh chuckles. “Of course.”
“Someone’s in a good mood today,” I observe, leaning back against the kitchen counter and sipping my coffee.
“I am,” he replies with a smile, getting some orange juice from the refrigerator.
My anxiety gets the better of me, and I can’t help but ask, “Did you talk to Carolina last night by any chance?” Even I can hear the unease in my tone.
He smiles, pouring himself a glass. “Some of what we did was talking.”
“Yes, you lucky bastard, we heard,” I retort, jealousy evident in my tone.
His eyes lock onto mine, and he chuckles. “You did?” The smile on his face remains unapologetic. “Sorry, not sorry. After years of hearing you two next door, it’s only fair.”
I decide to redirect the conversation back to the pressing matter. “Anyway, did you talk about the situation?”
“She mentioned that Xander kissed her and that you almost did,” he accuses, giving me a pointed look. “Didn’t I tell you both that it has to come from her?”
Choosing to sidestep his question, I ask, “What did you say to her?”
“I told her it’s okay if she has feelings for both of you, that she wouldn’t lose me over it, and that I’m open to exploring.” He shrugs nonchalantly.
That sounds good.“And?” I prompt, gesturing with my hand for him to keep talking.
He hesitates, biting his cheek, then reluctantly meets my gaze. “She told me she wanted only me, that it would be just the two of us.”
My skepticism creeps in, and I ask hesitantly, still not entirely convinced he’s all in with us, “Did you really tell her it would be okay?”
“Careful, Clay, I still have a scar on my back from your knife.” He glares at me, his tone turning cold.
I relent, frowning as I search his face. “Fine, I believe you.” Still, my doubts linger, and I can’t help but push it. “But she didn’t mean it, right? She was just scared?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s clear as day that she has feelings for both of you. But just because she has those feelings doesn’t mean she’s ready for what you’re proposing. She’s inexperienced, has trauma, and is fragile despite her tough exterior. Give her time. I can’t make any promises. And remember, this isn’t easy for me. It’s going to be an adjustment for us all that will require patience, something you lack. I’ll remind her at every opportunity that she can have all of us. But as I’ve said, the decision has to come from her, Clay. If she doesn’t want this?—”
“Then it won’t happen,” I cut him off, finishing his sentence and nodding. The pang in my heart has me wincing just the same.
“I’m sorry,” Josh says sincerely, patting my shoulder.
“It’s okay. I’m going to take a shower,” I reply, placing my mug in the dishwasher and heading toward the hallway.
As I attempt to walk past Xander, he pulls me close, his lips sealing ours in a kiss. My poor, hurting heart flutters at the contact.
He nips my bottom lip, his voice a soft, teasing murmur as he speaks. “Patience, love. It might not be your strong suit, but what a chance to grow.”
SEVENTEEN
For the last two hours,I have been over at the guys’ place, helping clean up the mess from yesterday. Since the vibe with Clay and Xander feels off, I stick to Joshua and Sophia as much as possible.
Maybe it’s just me overthinking things, but the way Clay looks at me, like a hurt puppy, hurts me too.
What the fuck did I do?
I know what I did. I let myself fall, and now I’m dealing with the consequences.
I have feelings for all of them. Fuck, I messed up. Joshua is my boyfriend, and he’s perfect in every way. I’d never leave him for Clay or Xander. But his suggestion yesterday that I could explore my feelings—that’s bound to end in a fucking mess. Xander and Clay clearly love each other. Anyone can see that.
What would I be to them? A temporary play toy before they lose interest again?
Somehow, I still find it hard to believe someone like Joshua could fall for me. It’s even harder to believe Clay and Xander find me attractive too. Maybe Clay just sees me as a challenge. He might want to kiss me just because he thinks he can’t have me. And Xander? He’s different. How the fuck do I know whatthat guy is thinking? Is he just fascinated by the idea of the sad, abused girl?
