Get a fucking grip.
I scribble a note and place it on the sweater Joshua left on the floor, then head out and take the subway to Harlem. The train rumbles through the tunnels, the city’s energy humming around me as I make my way to the shelter.
Thankfully, the shelter isn’t far from the station, so it doesn’t take me long to get there. I’ve been away too long and don’t know how he will take it. We have never gone so many days without seeing each other before.
“That looks cozy,” I say, sitting on the edge of Howie’s bed.
He’s seated on the floor in front of it, leaning against it. “Kid,” he grunts, not even glancing my way, and I’m taken aback by his coldness.
“Here, I got you something,” I tell him, offering him a burger and a Coke.
“Thanks,” he mutters, still avoiding my gaze.
“Everything okay?” I ask, leaning back on my hands.
My head is swirling with possibilities. I can’t have him mad at me.
He turns to give me a sharp look. “Two weeks, Lina. Two weeks without a word from you. And now you just show up as if I wasn’t out of my mind with worry? You could’ve been hurt or in the hospital, for all I knew. I understand you’re in love and happy, and I’m glad for you, but a little update would’ve been nice.”
My eyebrows rise in surprise. “You really do care about me,” I whisper.
His accusatory gaze hurts, and guilt settles in my stomach.
“You’re unbelievable.” He sighs, looking back down at his hands.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come by sooner. But to be fair, I really was in the hospital for a week,” I explain, hoping he’ll understand that making him worry wasn’t on purpose.
His head snaps up. “What? Why?”
“I fell down the stairs and hit my head.” I shrug nonchalantly, but the memory makes my blood freeze, and my stomach suddenly feels sick.
“You fell? Of course you did. Lina, this has to stop. You can’t go back there. I know some people here who can help, even if they’re a bit shady. We could leave the state and start fresh,” he urges, his tone growing more agitated by the second.
“We?” I ask with a hint of a smile. “You’d leave this warm new bed and the 7-Eleven for me?”
“This isn’t a joke, Lina,” he lectures, crossing his arms over his chest, and I feel bad for teasing him.
“I appreciate your concern,” I state, touching his shoulder. “But it seems like the problem is halfway solved for the moment. Chiara and I are staying with my boyfriend’s sister for now. She has two guest rooms, and we don’t have to pay rent. This way, I can still support Roberto without having to live there and risk running into him.”
“Boyfriend?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Your advice seemed to work.” I shrug, dropping my gaze and smiling down at my hands.
“Just make sure he doesn’t take advantage of the situation,” he warns, finally unwrapping his burger.
I have to suppress a laugh. “He’s not like that. He’s a?—”
“A cop, I know. When he turns on you, no one is going to believe you,” Howie interrupts, speaking with his mouth full.
“That’s not what I was going to say,” I mutter, frowning at him.
I understand where his concern is coming from, but I also know that I’d never have to fear this possibility with Joshua. Or Clay, for that matter.
“But it’s true.” He shrugs, and we finish eating in silence.
Discarding our trash, I pull out the yellow bracelet. “Give me your hand,” I instruct.
“Why?” he asks, but he extends it anyway.
