Without hesitation, she slips in, snuggling up to me and letting out a contented sigh.
As I teeter on the edge of sleep, she whispers, “So, you know everything?”
I kiss her forehead and pull her even closer. “Chiara told us quite a bit. I don’t know if it’s everything, but you can tell me whenever you’re ready. For now, I know enough if you’d rather not talk about it.”
“I don’t think I can,” she murmurs, and I can practically feel the hurt radiating from her.
“That’s okay. I’m here whenever you change your mind.”
“What’s the plan? If we upset him, he will—” she begins but stops short, choking on her breath.
“You’ll both stay here until she turns eighteen at least. We’ll continue to cover his rent, groceries, and drinking habit. I believe he won’t mind where you guys are as long as it doesn’t disrupt his lifestyle,” I reassure her, gently stroking her back.
“I can’t afford two rents, or I would have done this already,” she mutters softly.
“You won’t be paying two rents,” I state.
“But—” she starts, but I cut in.
“Would you let me pay you rent if I needed a place and you had room for me?” I ask.
“No, but?—”
I silence her with a kiss. “Everything will be okay. Don’t overthink it. Honestly, I should be paying you for spending time with me. This feels too precious to be free,” I tease with humor in my tone.
“Damn, Joshua, did you just call me a prostitute?” she asks, her tone icy.
“What? No, I—” I fumble for words, suddenly wide awake again. But then she starts giggling. Cupping her face in my hands, I lean in. “You’re evil,” I murmur against her lips, sealing them with a kiss.
TEN
I can’t sleep.
I lay in bed, shifting from one side to the other, while Xander lays beside me, his arm over his eyes, breathing softly.
He certainly gave me a ‘white Christmas’ when we went to bed, and it wore him out. He made me come so hard that I should be knocked out, too, but Carolina consumes my thoughts.
She doesn’t seem to be a hundred percent okay. Throughout the day, I noticed how her hands trembled ever so slightly from time to time, and not a single, sassy retort came out of her beautiful mouth. She barely touched her food, opting instead to drink lots of tea, and while she doesn’t typically eat a lot in front of us, I don’t think she’s eating enough. And it was impossible not to notice the exhaustion etched across her face, with red, droopy eyes that became even more apparent when Joshua guided her to bed.
Should we take her back to the hospital?I despise hospitals and hated spending so much time in one. Yet, I was there by her side for the past few nights, and now I feel lost.
The love of my life is beside me, and I know Carolina is resting peacefully in Joshua’s arms. So why do I feel like sheneeds me? I’m not so jealous that I can’t let go, especially when I know she’s in good hands.
What’s wrong with me?
Unsettled, I get up and head downstairs for a glass of water. I notice the kitchen light is on and hear soft sounds coming from the room.
Joshua is spending the night at Sophia’s place with Carolina, and Sophia and Chiara are there too. With Xander asleep upstairs, there shouldn’t be anyone in our kitchen.
Fuck.
I pause at the entrance and grab the gun we keep in the drawer next to the door, disengaging the safety. I cautiously approach the kitchen, but my tension eases when I see Carolina’s familiar silhouette. I re-engage the safety and return the gun to its place.
When I return to the kitchen, I lean against the doorway, watching Carolina. She’s hungrily scooping up leftovers as if she hasn’t eaten in days. Technically, she hasn’t, given she was unconscious.
She sets the bowl down and reaches for a cookie, but she nearly jumps out of her skin when she spots me.
“Porca misera,” she breathes out.
