Clay rolls his eyes. “That’s just childish, and you know it. We’re not kids anymore.” He lets out an exasperated huff. “And get your facts straight. I fell for her at the exact same time you did. The only difference is that you acted on your feelings while I hid mine.”
That stings because I know he is right. I noticed him flirting with her often enough and how he looked at her because it always gave me a pang of jealousy.
“And doesn’t that count?” I demand, my voice rising in volume. “Doesn’t me being in a relationship with her, being her boyfriend, mean anything?”
“Of course it does!” Clay yells back, his arms open in a gesture of exasperation. His frustration mirrors mine.
“Guys,” Sophia exclaims, and we turn our heads to her. “Her eyelids just fluttered, and I could swear she just gripped my hand.”
We watch Carolina for a moment, all of us silent, but nothing happens besides her breathing steadily. “She did that yesterday too. It just means she isn’t as fast asleep anymore, but not that she is waking up,” I mutter, the familiar pain in my chest squeezing my heart again.
“I am sorry, continue,” Sophia nods at me, making me huff.
“As I said,” Clay starts again. “It does matter that you guys are together, I just think?—”
I cut him off. “Then why can’t you respect that? Why do you always have to have everything? You’re the one with the looks, the charisma, the good grades, the proud mother, the picture-perfect relationship,” I snap, my voice drips with jealousy, each word a bitter accusation. “And now you want to take away theone person I’ve found for myself, who truly loves me? What kind of best friend does that?”
Clay’s expression tightens, his jaw clenched as he listens to what I say. He takes a step closer, his voice laced with anger and hurt. “Oh sure, I’m the guy with charisma, but with no friends other than the one best friend who hates me right now. The guy who worked his ass off for those grades while you breezed through every test. The guy with an amazing mother, who died when I was nineteen.” His words are sharp, and the pain in his eyes is undeniable. “The only thing you got right is the picture-perfect relationship, and that’s only because that big fucker is dumb enough to love me.” He gestures over his shoulder to Xander, who lets out a half-hearted huff. I see the turmoil in Clay’s face, the same frustration and sorrow that mirrors mine. It dawns on me that this situation has hurt him just as much as it’s hurting me, and the weight of my anger and jealousy feels heavier with each passing moment. “I never wanted to steal her from you, Josh,” Clay continues, his voice softening with sincerity. “Not in my wildest dreams. Neither of us would.”
I glance at Xander, who nods in agreement, his expression tense and serious. “So, what’s the deal then?” I demand, my words dripping with bitterness. “She’s my girlfriend, but you two want to share her in bed from time to time?” I nearly spit the words out. “She’s precious, not just another one of your fuck buddies.”
“Whether you want to hear it or not, whether you believe us or not, we love her. We love her just as much as you do. She is fucking precious, and we don’t want her for sex. I mean, yes, of course, we want to have sex with her, but—” Xander coughs loudly, cutting off Clay’s words with a hint of amusement. “What I’m trying to say is, we’re serious about this. We’re done playing.”
My heart is racing as my frustration and fear battle for dominance. “And what do you expect from me?” I retort, my voice rising again, my fists clenched at my sides. “To just step aside and say, ‘Sure, I’ll break up with my girlfriend so you two can have her?’”
Clay’s anger flares again, his voice raises in response. “You’re not getting it!” he shouts. “I want us to be in thistogether.”
I shake my head. “I’m not into guys,”
Xander barks out a laugh.
“Does he not want to understand me, or am I doing this wrong?” Clay asks, pulling on his hair as he turns to Xander, his eyes pleading, prompting him to stand and move to Clay’s side.
“What Mr. Big Words here is trying to say is we want to share her,” Xander explains.
“I don’t—” I start, but he holds up a hand, urging me to listen.
“You have your relationship with her, and we want to include her in ours. We won’t interfere with yours, and you won’t be a part of ours. We remain a family, just as we always have. Nothing changes for you except allowing her to love and be loved by more than just one person. Let your brothers, who you trust and love, love your girl too. Let us help you make her happy. Keep her safe. Let us be in this together. The way we always were.”
“You should’ve let him talk from the beginning,” Sophia mutters.
I look from Clay to Xander, then down to Carolina.
I’m so done hurting.
These past six days have been the worst of my life. I can’t imagine life without these guys. I love them. And if I’m truly honest with myself, I will always want them in my life, as close as possible. I just always felt like the odd one out, the fifth wheel. But now, I understand why. The puzzle piece that truly connects us was missing.
I watch Carolina’s chest rise and fall.
It isn’t missing anymore.
I am willing to work through my jealousy, to try this, and give it my best if it means I can keep them all.
“Joshy,” Sophia whispers softly from Carolina’s bedside, her voice filled with warmth and reassurance, making me look over at her. “You know they would never do anything to hurt you or her intentionally. It’s Clay and Xander, your best friends since forever. We’re a family, and we’ve just added one more member.”
My gaze wanders to Carolina, who is furrowing her brows in her sleep, her nose scrunching up adorably, and my resilience is wavering. This isn’t just about me.
I can try.
