And five days since I last slept or ate properly.
Sophia forces me to eat now and then, and I manage some naps, more involuntary than not, but I haven’t truly rested. Every time I sit by Carolina’s side, I fall asleep. It’s like my body knows I am where I am needed and can take a break while she rests.
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I’ve just returned from picking up Carolina’s gift. I have known what I wanted to give her for a while, but it took some time to have it made. I hope she likes it.I hope she wakes up to see it.
No, I can’t think like that.She will wake up.The swelling is down, and everything looks fine. There’s no reason why she wouldn’t.
While I was sitting by her side this morning, her eyelids fluttered, and her hand twitched in mine. It was a flicker of hope, a sign that she might be on her way back to us. It was enough tomake my heart race with anticipation. The doctor said we need to allow her time to come around on her own, but to me, it seems like she should wake up any minute now. I’m growing restless.
With everything appearing to be fine, why doesn’t she wake up? Did Roberto cause more damage than they initially thought?
Just as I’m about to open the door to Sophia’s side of the duplex, the door on my side opens, and Xander steps out, apparently headed to work.
My hand pauses on the door handle as he greets me with a “Hey.”
“Hey,” I reply quietly, pulling open the door.
“Do you have a moment?” he asks, causing me to hesitate.
“What do you want?” I ask coldly.
“I just… I miss my best friend, Josh,” he admits, his voice laced with hurt.
Pain surges in my chest.God, I miss them both so much. This entire situation is tearing me apart. Clay really screwed up, though.
When I see Xander’s sad gray eyes, I remember that Clay didn’t just hurt me. He hurt Xander too. I don’t even know if they’ve made up or are still fighting.
The pain is evident in Xander’s gaze. And it doesn’t feel right to leave him standing there, not when he was blindsided like I was.
“Okay,” I say hesitantly. “What’s your decision? Have you forgiven him or?—”
“What is there to forgive?” Xander interrupts, frowning.
“He confessed his feelings for my girlfriend, Xan,” I hiss out, gritting my teeth.
“No, I get whyyouneed to forgive him, but why would I need to? He fell in love with her, Josh. It happens. It happened to you,and it happened to me too. For some reason, she has that effect on people.”
I stare at him, taken aback. “Wait a minute. Did you just say?—”
“Yes, Josh. I’m in love with her too. You love her, Clay loves her, and I love her. We all fell for her. And if you’d just talk to us, maybe we could find a way?—”
“Fuck you. Fuck the fucking both of you,” I snap, stepping inside and slamming the door behind me.
The dim,bluish glow of the television screen bathes me in its light as I sit on the couch. The farming documentary drones on, but it’s just background noise for the storm brewing in my mind.
I’ve been waiting for Clay to come home, but he is later than usual.
Everything is a mess. I tried to stay away from Josh to give him space, but I needed to say something when I saw him this morning. We need to talk this out and fix things, or it will tear our family apart. I can’t ignore this rift any longer.
The front door creaks open, and Clay steps inside, his eyes red and sad. He looks exhausted like he’s carrying the weightof the world on his shoulders, and his normally styled hair is disheveled.
My poor boy is hurting badly.
I turn off the television and sit up, bracing myself for what he’s going to tell me.
“Hey,” I say softly. “How was it?”
Clay lets out a heavy sigh and collapses onto the couch next to me, his head falling into his hands. “A fucking nightmare, just like the last few shifts. He still refuses to talk to me the whole damn time. It’s impossible to work together, but I don’t think he requested another partner yet. At least nobody told me about it. I am sitting on needles, not to mention that the whole silent treatment is killing me.”
